It may be possible for you to have an open and free discussion with your in-laws in order to work things out. That meeting should be initiated by the child of the contentious in-laws, and not by the person who is marrying into the family.

After enough compromises have been reached, and any potential "I-told-you-so" issues have been resolved, then it may be possible to enjoy a successful marriage. Be sure to resolve .

A potential in-law may refrain from raising topics at this time in order to avoid hurting you. Reassure them that they would be doing you a greater service by venting any potential issues at this stage. Explain that everybody wants to remove all impediments to a successful marriage. It may be necessary to involve a third party in order to be sure that enough of the potentially problematic issues have been raised.

So, whom should you marry?

Clearly, you are marrying three or more people:

• Your spouse
• Your in-laws
• The parent for your children

These crucial issues are all important in your marriage. Don't overlook them, as they may cause a negative impact on an otherwise satisfactory marriage.

One point should be obvious...

This also means that you should not wait until you are engaged before meeting your future in-laws. It may be too late at that stage. You should get to know them well in advance. They are too important to ignore or postpone.