In-laws are the recipients of many jokes. Yes, they are told in jest, but each joke includes a modicum of truth.

Just as you may want to marry your children’s parent, you may also consider marrying your in-laws. Don't worry about the arithmetic – your total number of marriage partners will not be greater than one.

This may seem surprising. After all, despite the fact that people should indeed look for various things when dating, most lists will probably not include a desire to marry in-laws.

However, it would be useful to consider the following issues:

Many otherwise fine marriages falter because of conflicts with in-laws. Although the couple may be suited for each other in many ways, the in-laws may have a different agenda that could cause the couple to suffer.

Under the best of circumstances, it is difficult to maintain a solid relationship – shalom bayit – between two individuals. It is more difficult when in-laws fight for the supposed welfare of their own child. This meddling and the resulting friction may be more than the couple can take.

Yes, some marriages do survive, despite the undesirable involvement of their in-laws. However, this often reflects so much strain that the marriage may collapse.

After all, a child's primary allegiance during the first two or so decades of life is to the parents, guardians, Rebbe, or teachers. A good Jew follows the Biblical injunction to honor his father and mother. This respect continues after marriage, albeit on a different scale. It takes time for the spouse to gain the status that is deserved.

This is not the right time for a tug-of-war between the spouse and the in-laws. Indeed, it is one reason why some parents give the children a full year "on their own" before initiating any contact. Yes, they're in touch, but the newlyweds usually make the call. Those parents call only if an extended period of time goes by without hearing from the new couple.

If you seem to feel some danger signs arising, then you may want to take action.