This page is still under construction.

Do you feel henpecked? You should have seen it all along back at the stage of dating. Granted, your partner may have changed after you got married. However, in more cases, typically nothing really has changed. Your partner is the same. Your spouse is the same as the period of time during which you were dating. You just didn't see the signs.

If you would go through a list of your partners traits today then you would see various things that should have indicated that it was going to lead to getting henpecked. Perhaps you might then be able to say that if only you had known what to look for and what to expect then you would have been able to make an informed decision and judgment about whether this is what you want.

Instead, it is likely that you made a simplistic decision based on whether you like her or him and that issue, of course, is irrelevant to the real traits that she or he shows and that you are now experiencing.

Let us investigate the possibilities.

When you were going out together did she dare make a number of requests or suggestions? Perhaps at that time you saw nothing bad about it and you were all too willing to go along with all of those requests in order to win her over. Now think of the tone that she used to make those requests. Did she whine? Did she make the requests in a way that was difficult for you to say no? Did she make you feel guilty about the possibility of saying no?

Perhaps she made her requests in a tone that was so sweet or so nice that you found it hard to say no. During that time when you were dating she was testing out different tones to see which ones work to the best. When she found the tone that works on you she was able to henpeck you even before you realized it and you thought she was just being sweet.

Perhaps you thought that being henpecked means that she would ask you for something repeatedly and if she just asks once and you feel the need to give in then that's not henpecking.

Wrong.

Someone who is skilled in the art of henpecking need only mention the request once and you are already in their power. They have controlled you. That might even be more difficult to deal with because then the henpecker will say I just asked once. I just made mention of the thing that I wanted. I didn't beg and you were the one who immediately gave in to me. Perhaps if I had known that you didn't want, they will innocently say, I would have said forget about it. This innocence is part of the henpecking game and it makes you feel guilty the next time about saying no. After all, the henpecker has just convinced you that she really is not henpecking.

So why is the word she used all through this page. Couldn't both partners henpeck or either partner henpeck?

Yes, perhaps it could come from either side.

However, we do understand from the term that is used that the pecking is done by the hen.