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Consider the following issues when deciding whether to do right or wrong.

Surviving life

Submitted by Miriam:

How do we survive life? That's not so easy to answer. When I try to make everyone happy, it usually backfires on me. Not a good idea. I find that keeping a smile on my face and a cheerful, friendly attitude usually gets me by with most people. I must admit that sometimes I find that difficult to do, but I know that I do try. I get along with most people, some of whom are rather unpleasant.

I also find that time to myself is very important. While many people walk with a partner or friend, I find that I prefer my solitary walks. I need the time, the space, the fresh air. Sometimes I just need to hide in the kitchen with a quiet cup of coffee (okay, and maybe a sandwich and piece of cake!) just to get away from the "Miriam! Mom!" even if just for a little while. Then I can put the smile on my face and continue with whatever I need to do.

Right and wrong

Submitted by Miriam:

What's right and what's wrong?

First we should follow the Torah. That's sometimes easier said than done. Not everyone has studied the entire Torah, so doing the 613 commandments isn't so easily accomplished. Some things in the Torah are well-known throughout the world. Like do not kill. Or do not steal. Or honor your father and your mother.

Second we usually follow our gut feelings. Somehow we know, inside, that what we are doing or about to do is the right and good thing or the wrong and bad thing. When we do the right thing we frequently have a good, warm feeling that spreads throughout us. We feel good about what we did. When we do the wrong thing we frequently have a bit of a sick feeling in our stomach. We sometimes think uh oh, why did I do that? At that point we can try to fix up what we did.

Of course, not everything in life is so clear. It's not always black and white. There's always gray involved. If more than one person is involved then what's good for one may be bad for another. Then it's not so easy to know what the right thing to do is. Life is tricky that way.

Making a spouse happy is usually the right thing. It's not always so easy to do that, but it's a good road to travel. Frequently when we do the right and good thing we are rewarded in some way for our actions. That's not the reason for doing good. It's just a side benefit. The reward might be something small, like a thank you note or a smile or a take-out dinner to save us the time and effort. It's not a trip to Hawaii.