Chapter Ten
Emotional Spoils Of Love, Betrayal and Self-Denial
Burton Peck, in the meantime, was struggling with his own demons: His drinking had gone from a recreational passtime to an obsession and he found himself imbibing soon after awakening. It never occurred to him that he might have a problem, as Burton was the quintessential master of denial, but his wife was keenly and painfully aware that her once-energetic and enthusiastic husband was sliding further and further into a bottle of burbon. She didn't nag, however, as that got her nowhere except being on the receiving end of a great deal of emotional abuse, so Anna went about her life as if everything was shiny and happy. It was an extremely difficult thing to do: Watch the man she loved destroying himelf and often when he was out at the studio or hanging with friends, Anna would pour all of the liquor bottles down the sink before Burton arrived home. Then came the fighting, the blunt accusations and guilt-tripping that made him feel as though he were wrapped tightly in Saran Wrap with no way to extricate himself. Yes, Peck had his peccadillos too, so he hassled Michael far less frequently these past few months.
Gill Giles was slowly metamorphosizing into a much different man than he had been before Oxymoron achieved super-stardom. Life on the road and the people he encountered caused him to develop a resilient shell, not unlike that of an armadillo. Gill had read Franz Kafka's "The Metamorphosis" and had no idea how much that disturbing story would skewer its way into a heart that had formerly been loving and kind. He snapped at people, totally ignored Michael and called Burton a "hopeless lush". Obviously sonmething major was gnawing away at his entrails but nobody could figure out what it was. The formerly happy, energetic and outgoing musician who knew so much about rock and roll that he was dubbed "Trivial Persuitive" by the guys. Michael and Burton were too far into the maze of self-destruction that they didn't see much of Giles.
Dear Paul with the soul of a loving spirit, despite his shyness, would try to get his friend to talk about his troubles and unburdon himself. "You can't just curl up inside of a bottle of bourbon and forget we have a life, a life we've wanted for so many years. Can't you find anything to be happy about?"
Gill turned to Paul, saying quietly, "You need help, Burton. I know some fellows in AA that could get you off this garbage and give you your life back".
"Alcoholics Anonymous?? Are you freaking nuts? That place is for those people you see lying over grates in winter to keep warn and drink shaving lotion for a buzz. If you think for one minute that I would stoop to that degrading level, then you must have completely lost your mind, Paul".
Paul didn't give up so easily. We'll discuss this later, when you drop that "I'm too good for that place" attitude. Don't you like our lives now? Would you rather be back at Baylor University wasting your life and money away? Get off this self-pitying jag that's encased you and for God's sake, get it together!"
It was atypical for Paul to raise his voice, but between worrying about Michael and putting up with the annoying Gill Giles, he'd totally run out of patience and empathy. "As for Michael, the human satellite, he'll go down with you and you can both spend eternity in a black hole. Would that make you happy?"
As this conversation was going nowhere fast, except perhaps coming to blows with one another, Paul stood up and headed for the door of Peck's house. "Do what you want. I just can't understand why the two of you have so much emotional baggage. It's sad and I feel badly for you and Michael, but there is absolutely nothing I can do for you. In other words, you're on your own from now on, Peck my man. You have a beautiful wife and a baby on the way, but I guess the kid will have to grow up with an alcoholic for a father".
After Paul exited the room, looking sad and resigned, Burton stared at his half-empty glass of booze in his hand. "Maybe Paul has a point. Perhaps I do have a bit of a drinking problem, but nothing to get all bent out of shape over. Paul enjoys playing the social worker of the band but he really should mind his own damned business".
Peck was interrupted from his negative thoughts as a sharp knocking began to pound out a beat on his front door. "Well, sounds like somebody's in a good head space", he muttered, hollering "Come in! Door's open!"
It was Michael, a rare smile in his drawn face with the telltale parenthasies framing his mouth. "Hey, there, Burt, my friend. Have I got some good news!"
Peck sat up straighter on the couch, accidentally spilling the remainder of his drink. "Shit! Anna'll have my ass in a sling over this one. She just got this thing reupholstered. Okay, I'll bite, what's the news? Have we been nominated for an Emmy or an MTV award?"
Michael shook his head. A great deal of his incredible curls were gone due to malnutrition, making him appear like a cancer patient undergoing chemotherapy. "I met someone last night. This one counts, Burton, really. I've never felt so happy in my life! It's like we're soulmates---it's weird how alike we are. Hope you're happy for me".
Peck went to pour himself another drink. What's her name, this Goddess of Love you'gve captured the heart of?"
"Um, it's not a her, it's a him. He's into video production and really wants to do a video for our song, "The Stars Are Tumbling Into the Ocean". Apparently he's very good, but that's not the reason I'm so atracted to him. He's witty, clever, gorgeous and kind. How could anyone do any better than that, I ask you?"
Burton had always known that Michael was bisexual but he had not had a homosexual experience as long as Peck had known him. Maybe this guy could straighten Michael out (no pun intended) and get him off this dieting craziness. "Hey, Michael, I'm really happy for you. When do we get to meet this Adonis?"
Well, if you want to drop by the house at about six this evening, I'm having Joel over for dinner".
"Sounds good to me, but you worded that wrong. You're having us over to eat while you cook it and feed your portion to your dogs".
Michael was so excited that he forgot how tired and bereft of energy he was. "Good thing I'm losing weight", Michael commented to Burton, who had just drained his fourth glass, "because in the gay community, you have to be thin or nobody wants you".
"Not THAT skinny. When this Joel sees you he's likely to get you to a hospital so they can force-feed you".
"Please don't do this, Burton. You're looking for trouble and I don't want to lose this warm glow caressing me. I don't rag on about your drinking, so please, please leave the eating thing alone. It's no big deal".
Six o'clock came quickly and Michael was cooking vegetarian lazagna as only he could make it. Suddently there was someone at the door and Michael presented Burton with a fragile, beautiful young man, Joel Shepherd.
This is all of the chapter I am putting on my page. There is much, much more to it and I hope I have handled the situation delicately and appropriately. If you want to meet Joel and see what happens, you'll have to get the book. A poor girl's got to try to earn a living.
