R E L I E F

Respect Every Life In Every Family

Correct Language about Pregnancy & Abortion

When a woman is pregnant, people often say she is "expecting a child" or "is to have a baby " or " is going to be a mother". We all use these expressions from force of habit, and using them has no reflection on the strength of our pro-life convictions.

Nevertheless, I suggest that we no longer use these phrases. They do not accurately describe what is happening. A woman who is pregnant is not " expecting " a child. She already has one. The child exists, is living and growing in her womb, she is not about to bring the child " into the world." The child is already in the world. The mother’s womb is as much in the world as the mother herself.

The pregnant woman is not " going to be " a mother. She already is a mother. By saying she is " going to be " a mother, we inadvertently reinforce the notion that motherhood begins at birth. This reinforces the idea that the child is a child only at birth. A pregnant woman is fully a mother. She does not have "half " a child or a child "on the way" ( " on the way " from where? ) . The child is here, already in the world, fully unique and in possession of the same dignity as every other person. If our language reflects this reality, we will help the world to understand that children in the womb are indeed members of the human family - are here and now! .

People will then be able to ask the right questions about abortion. The reasons many give in support of abortion, focus on the question, "should she have another child?" Our answer to that question can sometimes be "no". There can be no circumstances – medical, financial and social – in which a person (who is pregnant) should not have another child. When, a woman is pregnant, she already has a child. The question of abortion is not about whether to bring a child into the world, but about whether to throw a child out of the world!. The question, "Will this child be cared for or will this child be killed?". While we can sometimes say that circumstances dictate not having another child, we can never say that circumstances dictate not having another child, we can never say that circumstances dictate killing a child.

We are in fact very sensitive to circumstances such as immaturity, or lack of resources to raise a child. Were the child born, however, would the problem of immaturity of lack of resources disappear about everyone can see that killing the child is not justified. What makes abortion different? Language is powerful. It both reflects and shapes what is in our mind and heart. A small but necessary step to ending abortion is to use the right words and ask the right questions. By Fr. Pavone is the International Director of priests for life. (Sources: Voices for the Unborn, December 1997.)

"I believe that when I stand before God, God will simply ask me, ‘How did you use the gift of life I gave you?" - Pope John XXIII

New threats to the Sanctity of Human Life

Artificial insemination and "invitro fertilisation" applied to humans have been going on for some years. In some cases the fertilised egg or embryo is replanted in the womb of the women from whom it was extracted, to allow it to develop into a fetus and ultimately a baby. In other cases the embryo is implanted in the womb of another women, who now becomes the "surrogate mother". The sperm may have been taken from the husband of the women who wishes to have a child, or it may have been taken from another man the "donor".

All these methods have been condemned by the church, which only recognizes human reproduction by normal sexual relations between husband and wife. The Church has thereby come in for criticism for inhumanity by those who advocate these methods to help childless couples have children of their own. But in a comparatively short time the Church’s stand has been vindicated by reason of the numerous aberrations which these methods have led to.

Artificial insemination and invitro fertilisation were at the beginning used for childless couples legally married to one another. Then unmarried couples and single women began to utilize them. Later, a number of women who had gone beyond the normal child-bearing age managed to bear children by the use of one of these methods. (How many such women did not achieve success, involving the death of the embryo or fetus, is not known, as their stories have been kept secret.)

Scientists or Laboratories which have conducted these abnormal procedures have often produced multiple embryos, of which only one was used by the women who wanted to have a child. The other embryos to have a child. The other embryos were destroyed, or frozen for a period of time, after which they were destroyed.

Since in the eyes of the Church a human embryo is a human being, destruction of embryos is nothing less than mass murder.

It was reported some time ago that a women in Britain obtained the approval of the British parliament to have a child by fertilization with the sperm of her dead husband which had been kept in a frozen state.(It is not clear whether she will undergo artificial insemination or utilize invitro fertilization).

All these procedures have led not only to legal uncertainties and complications, but also to social problems. As some of these procedures are relatively new, the children, the products of the newer procedures, are still young and the social problems involved are yet to become evident. But they are bound to occur, like the social problems caused by the more long-standing departures from normal family life- single mothers, unmarried couples, adoption of children by unsuitable persons, and by homosexual and lesbian "couple". Disregarded of the Church’s warning on contraception and abortion, expressed in Pope Paul VI’s Humanae Vitae, has led to horrendous social consequences in countries where the practice of these procedures is rampant. The latest horror which misuse of science has produced has so far not involved humans. Scientists in Scotland have succeeded in cloning a sheep, using the DNA obtained from a ewe’s mammary gland. The cloned sheep therefore has neither father nor mother, as it was developed without the benefit of egg or sperm.

The occurrence was so startling that it impelled President Clinton, who hitherto was not known to be concerned with the sanctity of human life (being pro-contraception and pro-abortion) to order his advisers to study the probable consequences of such cloning if it were to be utilised on a wide scale. It is possible that fear of the procedure being extended to humans influenced the President. While it is still unclear whether such cloning can be applied to humans, the fear that it can should rouse all who have an iota of concern for the sanctity of human life to try to prevent such an abomination from ever happening.

The Church may have to consider whether such cloned "humans", biologically fatherless and motherless, will indeed be humans.

( Taken from News and Views by Desmond Pereira, April 1997, a bi-mothly publication of the Melakajohor Diocese )

Child Sexual Abuse : Facts Fallacies Fallout

The abuse of children is one face of the ugly reality of the strong misusing their power over the weak. This abuse can take many forms: physical, emotional, and sexual, quite commonly with some overlap between 2 or 3 of these.

Of all the forms of abuse none is as insidious and devastating as the sexual form of abuse. In this form of child abuse (SA), a young one whose sexuality has not blossomed is subjected to some covert or overt actions by an adult for his or her own pleasures. While sexual violence against children is well known to occur, SA does not usually take the course of violent actions as such: quite commonly the abuse takes the form of gentle and apparently friendly seduction of the immature person by a mature and often frustrated or perverted adult.

How common is sexual abuse and whom does it affect? It was widely by many that sexual abuse is very rare in this country. Recent research moreover suggests that it is encountered by 7 out of 10 urban girls at least once in their childhood ( upto 14yrs) . It seems to occur among all sections of society: neither the poor nor the rich, neither the educated nor the uneducated are spared this malady. Girls are much more subject to the abuse than boys and perhaps the phenomenon of CSA is slightly more common among the urban people than among the rural people.

The abusing adult or the offender is not usually some stranger lurking in the dark alleys or tree tops at night just waiting for a vulnerable passer-by. In fact, abuse commonly takes place in the house and the offending adult is often a care-giver such as a father, step-father, uncle, teacher or athletic coach. Sometimes, and this is a rarity, the initial CSA takes the form of seductive behaviour by the girl and the adult being lured into a sexual liaison. Much more commonly however, seductive is engineered in a cunning and conniving manner by an adult. Warm greeting, gentle physical sexual contact, the giving of gifts can often precede the actual sexual defilement. This sexual defilement is commonly followed by threats to the child to swear her to secrecy or emotional blackmail and false promises later marriage.

Sexually awakening especially when it takes place without violence is often pleasurable and the abused child gets trapped in her search for this pleasure. Sooner or later this pleasure seems incorrect and then grossly debasing. The child begins to feel guilty over some wrong-doing which is almost invariably not her fault. Sadness, withdrawal, loss of interest, irritability and even ideas of ending one’s life then ensue.

Some children do not at once react with overt depression. In most cases in the long run children who are victims of CSA are more likely to develop warped attitudes to sexuality, becoming either frigid in the one hand, incapable of warm relationships and healthy romances, or on the other overaroused and sexually overactive, sometimes insatiable. Many grow into suspicious of maladjusted, or cantankerous adults. Some have marked mood swings and various forms of mental illness can then arise in such persons. Not all victims of CSA however, need have a break-down.

A healthy attitude to sexuality, the presence and availability of trustworthy care-givers, in whom a child readily confide, and proper education with regard to the human life cycle and the role of sex, can greatly reduce the occurrence of this horrific phenomenon.

By Dr. Ajit Bhide Head of Dept. of Psychiatry St. Martha’s Hospital, Bangalore.

Programmes on Personhood, Growing in Love and Relationships, Human Sexuality, Respect For Life(RFL) & AIDS were conducted by Sr. Annunciata, Mrs. Phyllis Farias and Mrs, Barbra Naidu. Sessions on Marriage Preparation, Family Life Education, Natural Family Planning (NFP) and Human Sexuality were conducted by Mrs. Kumari Baptist in Tamil & Kannada. Fr. Cruice Sanjivi CSsR proclaimed the Pro-Life message through his Sunday homilies in various parishes.

10. 02. 98 St. Philomena’s High School Self Awareness, RFL 400 students
to Bangalore - 84 Human Sexuality,
14. 02. 98 (left out in last issue through oversight)
01. 03. 98 Holy Redeemer Church Pro-life themes 200 people
Ambala
05. 03. 98 Good Shepherd H. School Self Awareness, 140 students
& Mysore Human Sexuality, RFL Growing in love & relationship
06. 03. 98
05. 03. 98 Good Shepherd Convent - do - 60 hostilites Mysore 07. 03. 98 Don Bosco Centre Human Sexuality, RFL 26 girls Bangalore - 84 08. 03. 98 St. Dominic’s Church Street Children 500 people Delhi 14. 03. 98 Devarajurs Colony Human Sexuality, RFL 22 girls (slum) 21. 03. 98 Don Bosco Centre Human Sexuality, 50 ladies Bangalore - 84 Relationships in family 23. 03. 98 Nava Bharathi Mahila Sanga Human Sexuality, RFL 21 girls Devajeevanahalli 04. 04. 98 Don Bosco Centre Family life, Sex Education 55 ladies Bangalore- 84 Status of Women in India, AIDS 05. 04. 98 St. Joseph’s Church Pro-life theme 500 people Lingarajapuram 11. 04. 98 Devarajaurs Colony Family Life, Sex Education 50 ladies 12. 04. 98 St. Joseph’s Church Pro-life theme 500 people Lingarajapuram 18. 04. 98 Don Bosco Centre Family Life, Health & 55 ladies Bangalore - 84 Environment 19. 04. 98 Holy Ghost Church Pro-life theme 800 people Fraser Town 24. 04. 98 St. Martha’s Hospital Training programme for 55 participants to write - up on page 8 26. 04. 98 25. 04. 98 Devarajaurs Colony Family Life, Health 50 ladies & Environment 28. 04. 98 Goodwill H. School Teen Problems 150 boys & to (Compassion International girls 30. 04. 98 Teen Fete ’98) 02. 05. 98 Don Bosco Centre Sex Education, 18 girls Bangalore - 84 Family Life, RFL 65 ladies 03. 05. 98 St. Joseph’s Church Pro-life theme 500 people Lingarajapuram 09. 05. 98 Devarajaurs Colony (slum) Family Life, Sex Education 22 ladies 10. 05. 98 St. Joseph’s Church Pro-life theme 500 people Lingarajapuram 12. 05. 98 Bypanahalli (slum) Family Life, relationship 55 ladies 16. 05. 98 Don Bosco Centre Family Life, RFL, 83 girls & Bangalore -84 Sex Education ladies 14, 15, 16 St. John’s Med. College Fertility Awareness & 45 participants NFP Counselling Programme National level RFLI Members : Dr. Lakshmi Kant Mrs. Phyllis Farias & Mrs. Kumari Baptist presented a paper each. 17. 05. 98 Devajeevanahalli Church Pro-life theme 300 people Holy Ghost church - do - 1000 people 29. 05. 98 St. Martha’s School of Role of Women in Society 60 Nurses Nursing

PEACE, PEACE ….. We want PEACE

The letter Writing campaign for world peace was launched for the first time simultaneously from Karwar, Kalghatgi and Tumarikop on 30th ‘96 International World Peace Day. Those involved were mostly school and college students with their staff and parents, who in their hundreds marched in silent, solemn procession to their respective local post office and mailed each one his/her personal appeal to the President of India and the world Leaders for world peace, for a war-free world. Since that day some ten thousand letters with about 100 times that number of signatures have been mailed to the Honourable President of India calling upon him to take initiative to "convene an international convention of Heads of Nations to sign a "No-war pact and Nuclear Weapons Elimination Pact". The same appeal is also being mailed to other Heads of Nations.

We are all aware of similar letter writing campaigns for world peace in different parts of the world. We are all conscares of "run for Peace", "walk for peace" (padyatra) and "prayer for peace" and even international "pilgrimage for peace" and similar movements going on in different parts of the world.

The longest peace appeal 2.4 Km long, 2.5 ft. wide, 100 Kgs in weight, 10 crores of English words was sent to the Pope by Mr. Reagan Jones of Kerala.

What is the cost of war? World War I cost ten million dollars per hour. It is estimated that if manufacture of war weapons is eliminated, the saving will feed the hungry in the world and poverty will be eliminated for all time on the surface of the earth. Let us stop bloodshed and death through war and hunger. "Respect for Life" has inspired us to launch this movement.

We need more volunteers for making it a world movement until "the Lord will extend peace to us like a river" (Isaiah 66:12)

Our contact address: Fr. P. J jacob Good News Welfare Society, Kalghatgi PO, Dharwar Dt. 581 204.

Editor’s note: In these troubled times we encourage you to be more informed about the need for nuclear disarmament and pray earnestly for peace.

GOD

There is so much frustration in the world because we have relied on gods rather than God. We have germ-flected before the god of science only to find that it has given us the atomic bomb, producing fears and anxieties that science can never mitigate. We have worshipped the god of pleasure only to discover that thrills play out and sensations are short-lived. We have bowed before the god of money only to learn that there are such things as love and friendship that money cannot buy and that in a world of possible depressions, stock market crashes, and bad business investments, money is a rather uncertain deity. These transitory gods are not able to save us or bring happiness to the human heart.

Only God is able. It is faith in him that we must rediscover. With this faith we can transform bleak and desolate valleys into sunlit paths of joy and bring new light into the dark caverns of pessimism. Is someone here moving toward the twilight of life and fearful of that which we call death? Why be afraid? God is able. Is there someone…on the brink of despair because of the death of a loved one, the breaking of a marriage, or the waywardness of a child? Why despair? God is able to give you power to endure that which cannot be changed. Is someone here anxious because of bad health? Why be anxious? Come what may, God is able.

Martin Luther King, Jr

Just a Minute

Two shipwrecked sailors were adrift on a raft. "Joe," said John, "We better start praying." Joe started praying. "Lord, if we get rescued, I will never touch a drop of alcohol!" No sign of any ship. Joe continued, "Lord, if we get rescued, I will never ever tell a lie!" The sea was calm, but no sign of a ship yet. Joe said, "Lord ….." when John cried, "Joe, do not promise too much! I think I see I see a ship in the distance!"

Why do I think of this joke? Our relation to the Divine should indeed be totally unconditional; a total surrender ……. Unlike the approach of John. True it is, that every joke has a deep often hidden meaning. The next time you enjoy a joke, smile first, but think if there is a more profound aspect to the jock!

Dr. Om Prakash, St. Martha’s Hospital

LOVE , Variation on a Theme

If I live in a house of spotless beauty with everything in its proper place, but have not love, I an a housekeeper, not a homemaker. If I have time for waxing, polishing and interior decorating, but have not Love, my children will learn of cleanliness - not Godliness. Love leaves the dust in search for a child’s laugh. Love smiles at tiny fingerprints on a newly-cleaned window. Love wipes away the tears before it wipes away the spilled milk. Love picks up the child before it picks up the toys. Love is present through the trials. Love reprimands, reproves and is responsive. Love crawls with the baby, walks the toddler, run with the child, then stands aside to let the youth walk into adulthood. Love is the key that opens salvation’s message to a child’s heart. Before I became a mother, I took glory in my house of perfection. Now I glory in God’s perfection in my child. As a mother, there is much I must teach my child, but the greatest of all is LOVE.

From Father Julian

TEEN CORNER

"My parents don’t give me much freedom, they tell me that I am almost adult, yet they treat me like a child."

Freedom is often misunderstood. Rather than meaning that a person can do anything he wants to do, true freedom means that a person will choose to do what is right. For instance, what is freedom for a drug addict - to be able to take drugs whenever he wishes, or to be able to resist the urge? True freedom always involves responsibility. When you want the freedom to choose, you should also be prepared to take the responsibility for the consequences of your choice.

Young people may be too inexperienced to discern what is right , and they are seldom in a position to take full responsibility for their actions. The teen years are in-between years, when you are learning to make decisions for yourself but still depend on your parents for many things. In these intervening years between childhood and adulthood, your parents are still responsible for you, so it is best to accept gratefully the guidance of your parents. Restrictions that your parents may place on who you can go out with, where you can go or when you have t be home are meant to protect you.

Of course, some parents do not recognize that "their little child" is growing up, and find it difficult to let go. In such situations, demanding your freedom usually leads to confrontation, anger and a tense atmosphere in the home. It should more properly be a time of negotiation, when you ask to take more responsibility for your decisions as your parents gradually relinquish that responsibility. The best way to win their trust is to show that you can be trusted in the little things. Do you do the things you say you will do, ten o’clock when you have agreed to be home by ten?

"No society can live at peace with itself or with the world, without a full awareness of the worth and dignity of every human person, and of the sacredness of all human LIFE."

-US Bishops Pastoral Letter of Peace

Pro-Life News - A Right To Life

JOAN ANDREWS BELL THROWN INTO PRISON on 15th January ’98 -

Joan Andrews Bell, a famed rescuer, was sentenced to jail for 3 to 23 months - even tough the district attorney asked for no punishment at all (Her "crime" a peaceful sit-in at pittsburg abortisite 12 years ago). At that point Joan refused to co-operate further with "the system". She sat down and was removed bodily from the courtroom.

"I will not obey unjust laws nor consent to co-operate with the precious children," John explains "I could no more adhere to the unjust laws of this land, or in any way give credence to evil enshrined in law than deny God Himself." May her example urge us to fight for the lives of thousands of innocent, defenceless unborn children that are murdered every day in our world one every 25 seconds. -HLI Report No. 158

DID YOU HEAR THE GOOD NEWS?

Your prayers got Joan Andrew Bell out of jail on the feast of the Annunciation Prolife feast day. While in jail, Joan saved the life of at least one baby who would have been aborted, and she aided many other women, too, including pregnant moms. To honour her courage and self-sacrifice, Joan was given the INTERNATIONAL HUMAN LIFE AWARD at the World Conference in Houstan. -HLI Special Report No. 160

FROZEN CHOSEN : AP reports "an embryo kept on ice for seven years has developed into a healthy baby boy." The Vatican said the story has positive aspects, but "every human being has the right to be conceived in a human way ….. and carried in his mother’s womb. (Source : Communique 6/3/98)

PILL WARNING: In a letter to the Japanese newspaper, Scitaro Matsunaga, pharmacist/scientist John Wilkes writes, "Let there be no misunderstanding - the pill is medicine. In over two years of researching the medical literature or artificial hormones, which led me to read more than 350 medical journals, books and news reports, the same message kept coming through. Women are being treated like experimental guinea-pigs by multi-national pharmaceutical companies with one-aim only: corporate profit. (Source: Communique, 20/3/98)

ONE IN FIVE DYING OF AIDS: WHO ( World Health Orginization )says 13.31 percent of Uganda’s adults are HIV+, but local doctors say it’s closer to 20 percent. One out of every five adults! Within five years, most of these people will die. The media say little about chastity, but much about condoms, which don’t stop the HIV virus. -HLI Special Report No. 158

AIDS GIVE CONDOM USERS A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY This makes lots of money for the condom makers, but it won’t stop the spread of AIDS, and will keep wreaking the moral of our young people. Local propaganda has brain-washed the morals of our young folk.

"It is a poverty to decide that the child must die so that you may live as you wish" - Mother Teresa

Respect For Life India (RFLI) believes that young people deserve opportunities and resources to enable them to understand the wonders of human sexuality. There is an urgent need to develop cadre of effective sex-education grounded in the Pro-life perspective, up-to-date information, and relationship skills with youth. To this end, RFLI recognised a three-day National Training Programme in St. Martha’s Hospital, Bangalore from 24th to 26th April ’98. Fifty-five Pro-life activists from various parts of India participated.

In brief the topics covered over the three days were :-

• Directive and Non-directive Sex-Education by Ms. Barbra Naidu, Counsellor and Lecturer, St. Joseph’s College of Arts and Science.
• Being comfortable as a Sex - Educator by Ms. Edwina Pereira, I. N. S. A. -India
• A Demonstration session :
• Answering Student’s Questions - Developing Positive Attitudes by Ms. Phyllis Farias, Educational consultant & counsellor AHAAN
• Child Sexual Abuse - Facts Fallacies Fallout By Dr. Ajit Bhide H. O. D of Psychiatry - St. Martha’s Hospital -
• Abortion and cloning - Tampering with Nature’s and God’s Pro-life design Rev. Fr. Jose Fonseca CSsR - Moral Theologian
• Contraceptives - what the sex educator needs to know - By Dr. Dominic Misquith, Dept. of Community Health, St. John’s Medical College.
• Natural Family Planning - by Ms Joyce Jayaseelan, Dept. of Fertility Awareness St. John’s Medical College.
• HIV / AIDS - Myths and Facts - by Dr. Anil Abraham, Dept. of Dermatology, St. John’s Medical College -
• Socio-psychological aspect of HIV / AIDS by- Mr. Karl Sequeira, Director - Freedom Foundation
• Rejection experience by a HIV + patient.
• Sharing of activities and experiences by participants engaged in pro-life work.

From the itinerary and the list of experts one may gather that there was a rich exchange of information and experience on the subject. One of the main achievements of the seminar was the impetus given to the Pro-lifer to network with each other to further the movement in India. The evaluation feedback given by the participants at the conclusion clearly speaks of a shared feeling of enlightenment, empowerment and enthusiasm to actively reach out to all people especially the young on issue relating to Pro-life.

RFLI hopes to continue hosting such training programmes in the future. In addition, the team is developing a resource bank and national network so as to promote the Pro-life movement. Those wishing to avail of training resources and/ or contribute to the existing ones may contact Sr. Annunciata.

Many thanks to our Benefactors .. Rev. Kay K. Longacre, Bishop William D'Mello, Mark D'Souza, H. Sita, Adela Clarke Bruin, Vincent Roop Dingh, Dr. Henrietta D'Costa, Fr. Philomena D'Costa, Zorina Mathias, Fr. K.K. Joseph Kottarathil, Tommy Falcao, Grexcencio Pereira, Maria Santana Pereira, Luizinha Rodrigues, Maria Nirmila Motha

God bless and reward you a hundredfold!

When you've finished reading this newsletter, you are encouraged to take a print out and please pass it on to a friend or relative!

Published by Sr. Annuntiata, RFLI, C/o. St. Martha's Hospital, Bangalore GPO 560 001, Karnataka, INDIA

The RESPECT FOR LIFE, INDIA is a non-profit, secular orginisation of people from all walks of life, united in a common gioal - which is to promote life in all its stages - from conception to natural death, and to act against all that would lessen human dignity.

RFLI believes that every human is precious and unique in the eyes of God and the human family.

The Association is concerned with issues like Abortion, Child Labour, Drug Addiction, Alcoholism, Suicide, Battered Wives, Dowry Deaths, the Plight of the Disabled, Euthanasia and AIDS.

For more information call 091- 080 - 2275081 (India Code- Bangalore Code) or write to us at the address : RFLI, C/o. St. Martha's Hospital, Bangalore GPO 560001, Karnataka, India

Pro-Life : Relief News Letter May-June 97 Issue, Bangalore

Pro-Life : RELIEF News Letter July-August 97 Issue, Bangalore

Pro-Life : RELIEF News Letter March-April 98 Issue, Bangalore

Pro-Life : RELIEF News Letter May-June 98 Issue, Bangalore

Pro-Life : RELIEF News Letter July-August 98 Issue, Bangalore

Pro-Life : RELIEF News Letter September - October 98 Issue, Bangalore

Pro-Life : RELIEF News Letter November - December 98 Issue, Bangalore

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