Nelda's Chocolate Humor

"Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake."

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Q:  Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A:  Because no one wants to quit.

Q:  Is there life without chocolate?
A:  We don't know.  No one dared to attempt it yet.

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The Rules of Chocolate

If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices, and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge.  Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?

Money talks. Chocolate sings.  Beautifully.

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.  Therefore, you need to eat more chocolate.

Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today.  That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place.  Now, isn't that handy?

If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer.  But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.  You can't let that happen, can you?

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Chocolate is HEALTHY

Chocolate is a Vegetable: Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Bean = vegetable.

Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable. To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is dairy.
So candy bars are a health food.

Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

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IF YOU WERE BUYING CANDY AND YOU HAD YOUR CHOICE OF THE FOLLOWING WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE?

CLICK ON YOUR CHOICE TO SEE WHAT RESEARCH SAYS ABOUT YOU!!!
And NO....you can't change your mind once you look....!!!!  So think carefully, what your choice will be!!!

BABY RUTH
3 MUSKETEERS
BUTTER FINGER
SNICKERS
HERSHEY'S
ALMOND JOY with ALMONDS
CLARK BAR
GOOD'n'PLENTY
ENERGY BAR
CHOCOLATE COATED RAISINS

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