Narrator : (Hanging elegantly on a cross off to the left of the stage, smiles at the audience.) I'm so happy to see you.  (Palms and feet begin to bleed.) I have a story to tell you, please listen it is a very short story.  Once upon a time there was a man who lived a pretty regular life. When he died he found himself in a strange place and a voice boomed
out "You are dead."  And the man, thinking this was obvious said, "It appears to be the case." The voice said to him, "Where are you?" The man thought for a while, he searched his mind and responded, "I've lived a pretty regular life.  I think I was a good person, and I think this ought to be Heaven." The voice boomed out, "Yes, this appears to be the case.
You are in heaven. You will spend eternity in a state of rapture. You will only know happiness, and this boulder I am giving you.  For eternity you will push this boulder up this hill, and you will feel nothing but glorious love and happiness." And so the man spent his time pushing the boulder and feeling a great deal of joy.  This continued for approximately half of an eternity, at which time he called out "Hello?" The voice boomed
out once more, "Yes?" It was a wonderful noise that the man hadn't heard since after he first died. And man called out once more, "Hello."  And in return the voice boomed out, "Blah, ha ha, for the rest of eternity you will push this boulder and weep. Not only will you weep, but also you will suffer the pain of a thousand men.  Each time you touch the boulder you will feel agony and despair, and you will do nothing but push the boulder."   The man called out "Why? Why?"

(Enter Man dressed in a long flowing gown with a tiara on his head.  He is
carrying a stick with a tin-foil star attached)

        Man : That is not hell. (Points at Narrator.) Your pitiful attempts at suffering make me laugh. Your vision of damnation is sickening. Go bleed somewhere else, and get the fuck off that cross, you look like a damned fool.

        Narrator : (Falls forward attached to cross. Lands in a heap. Moans.) Why? Why?

        Man : (Belligerent and angry) Get up.

        Narrator : (Stands and straightens up.) Who the hell are you?

        Man : (Looks up.) I am Marie Antoinette.

        Narrator : Super, I'm a robot, how do you like that.

        Man : (Points star at Narrator.) Now you listen to me. Once upon a time there was a man who lived a pretty regular life.  Everything he did was wrong.  His family made him  feel like a fool.  He failed at almost everything he did, and when he did something good it was shadowed by some past error.  His world was composed of a long list a mistakes, much longer than the mistakes of any other person he could think of.  When he died he
went straight to hell and continued suffering just the same way as he had in his pathetic life.

        Narrator : (Indignant.) My story was much more colorful than your paltry story. You lack imagination.

        Man :  (Smirking) No, I just presented the facts.  Your story was about a deluded bastard who couldn't see he was in hell because he was thinking about joy and happiness, and puffy little clouds.  My story illustrated the truth.

        Narrator :  If that is truth, I rather stay deluded, at least I'll be happy for a little while. Even if I'm just pretending because I honestly feel a little happiness now and then.

(Enter : Dancing Girls singing and laughing.  Cross stage and leave.)