As I sat gazing into a small campfire I concentrated my mind on the problems, as I envisioned them, in my life at this time.  As I had in the past, I searched my being for knowledge from my own, and those who had gone before me, past experiences.  I thought heavily on how the Gods and Goddesses had related to struggles and the ends they achieved.  I tried, in what is usually only marginally successful, to contact my patron God Heimdall for some insight into the faltering in my path.  I gradually lost a focus of the fire and became engrossed in a faintly blurred landscape of rock and snow.  The mist before me parted and horses head was revealed.  It was black as ebony and almost distorted from the heavy muscling of its face.  The eyes were like a blue flame and cut through me as if I were the fog.  I sensed an unbelievable force of will and destruction within the beast.  As it moved into clearer focus I could see the rider clearly and it was a shock since it was not Heimdall nor Odin who I had begun to expect.  She had eyes of flecked gold and green and her hair was so light that the slight breeze I felt blew it back behind her.  No tender look was given me and I felt a stirring of an emotion quite foreign to me, fear.  She drew a sword and held it before my eyes .  It was beautiful and shown like the sun.  I reached out to take what I thought was a gift and she bent it but an inch and it burst into spinning shards like glass all about us.  When the shards were gone so was my vision and I was once again before my small fire.  I was covered in sweat and sat for the longest time thinking on what I had seen.

No words were spoken but the meaning was clear to me all the same.  I had become like the blade.  Hard but without my inner core of softness, humanity if you will..  I had lost my inner temper.  I had not before been visited by one of the Goddesses and I look forward with trepidation for the next time it happens.  To put it bluntly I had become somewhat hollow and obviously this goddess found my state unacceptable before the Gods.  In the year since this occurrence I have tried to share a little more of my past experiences and be a bit more open with kinsman in hopes of regaining the bond with our shared path.  I am a hard man though so it is a hard task.  One which I have little doubt is watched with impatience.

Fare with the Gods

Heimdall
AOR-V/Himinbjorg Hearth