by Melanie/Inaya

Asslaamu alayikum! I would like to share with you my story on how I reverted to Islam. I used the word "reverted" because we were all born with the truth of Islam, it is somewhere after that when we lose sight of our path of truth. I want you to keep in mind that I am only 17 and I live in a very rual town far from any big city. Everyone here has their own ideas and thoughts on life. I guess you can say I was very sheltered. The one problem I have is that there are so many places in my life where I could begin this story.

I was raised a Christian and when I was very young my mother took me to church and I attended the Sunday school. During this time I had a lot of questions but just never asked them. I never realized there were options other then Christianity. Later I grew very bored with it and my mother got to busy to make me go. So eventually we stopped all together. When I grew older I got very close with a family who attended the Church and I would sometimes go with them or go to the youth group that was held every Monday night. Those where the true times when I was a Christian that I felt close to God, and really learned. I think I was old enough to understand the words of the Bible instead of forgetting the sentence I just read. One evening at youth group they mentioned going to a camp. My big brother went to this camp when I was younger and so I was interested in going. It aslo helped that my friends were going. The week rolled around and I began my retreat into God's arms for the first time. The idea of this camp was to make learning about God fun and to draw Christians deeper into their faith and their love for Jesus. I have to admit they did a wonderful job, but to me they were were directing our prayers and worship in the wrong direction - to Jesus.

In small groups of around the same age we read the Bible and asked questions and helped eachother understand. Over and over again the question came to my mind, "Who is Jesus truely?" "Why do we pray to him?" One day the conductor of assemblyes explained the whole idea of Trinity and something about a tent which...now that I think about it, sounds like the Kaba, but I am sure it isn't. That day I realized there were serious holes in Christianity. For some odd reason I just picked what I wanted to believe out of it and I disregarded the whole idea that... "in the Bible it said to only believe in one God - Yet God is three".

When I returned from the camp, they held a baptizing session. They never explained to me exactly what it was other then it was to cleanze yourself and start over (regarding your sins) I got baptized for my love of my Creator, not for Jesus.

With in a week that fire died and I felt guilty that I didn't keep it going. Yet I just pushed it aside as I did when I was younger. One day while I was chatting I met a Muslim brother who I got along with very well. He and I eventually started a relationship. There had been no one in my life who had made a grater impact on me. We would always speak about our religons and sometimes argue a little, and he would frusterate me because he could always give a good reason, I couldn't help but seeing he was right. The thing with me was that I would argue with my pride and then later, I would think about it on my own. After a while I grew weak with arguments and slowly started to look at Islam on my own. I remember he said to me once, "If you find a contradiction in the Qur'an I will burn the book." I was amazed by the faith he had, and I wish I had that kind of faith in the Bible. I began looking for holes with I was sure there was because there were so many in the Bible. Perhaps I wanted to find them so that he would renounce Islam, and it would make it easier for me and my family to deal with our relationship.

Before I started to look into it, I had to erase all the ideas of Islam being apart of the "terrorism" and that they were "womanizers", and the many other thoughts that were bestowed on me during my life. Then that is only when I could truly learn. After a while, I began to realize that I wasn't looking for contradictions anymore, I was finding answers to all those unanswered questions I have had since I was young.

I had been reading up about Islam for a long time and I found what I had been looking for in Christianity but couldn't find. The true ONENESS of Allah. He didn't have a partner in Islam, where as Jesus was God's son, and sometimes I would hear Christians state that Jesus "IS" God. I could never understand why they wanted to put human limiations on Allah. As I learned more and more I fell completly in love with it's beauty and truth.

One time while I was speaking on the phone with the brother I said, "What if I wasn't a Muslim." - as in 'What if I didn't convert to Islam' because I knew it would be to hard for him to marry me as a non-muslim; however it came out useing the word 'wasn't'. When I said that, I stoped and realized I had taken myself as a Muslim sometime when I began to learn about Islam. I heard the WASN'T, and took it as I AM. After that I took Shahada and felt Islam as a Sister for the first time.

I later told my mother and she was very unhappy with me. She said I did it for the wrong reason, where I may have started out for the wrong reason but now my Imaan is stronger then ever before in my life. She worried about me getting in with the wrong people even though there were no Muslims near me ( however, later I found a 3!) There is no Mosque near me iether but that didn't stop her worries. I eventually wanted to learn how to pray and I needed a sisters help. I found a Mosque within driving distance and decided I would just go when I could afford the gas money. My mother insisted she came with me for the fist time and I agreed. Unfortuanly I haven't yet been able to go yet because we never BOTH can't find time to go at the same time. Of maybe she is just putting it off as long as possible, I am not sure.

It was only a week or so later after I took Shahada when I gave up meat because I couldn't find halal in any market around me. I would have to travel 2 hours or more to get any and I can't do that. Although I have been stopping by that market when I am in town to get some things such as vanilla extract (no alchohol) and chicken. It is hard for my mother to cook for me but each day she is accepteing it better and realizing I won't renounce Islam. I also found a new job that didn't distribute alchohol so that my job would be halal as well.

I eventually experimented with hijab in my tiney school and got many comments. Some which I didn't like but had no choice other then to ignor them and others were sometimes very nieve. I also started to incorporate Islam into my reports and ended up making a speech on the stereotyping of Islam in USA. The class enjoyed it and agreed with me in many of my points. I also used henna once and a while for strenth sometimes. It reminded me about Islam when I was weak and had trouble staying focused. Every time I looked at my hands and saw my art and passion for Islam, it gave me feul that I am thankful for. Now I realize I don't need it and I generate it myself. I plan to wear hijab daily when the time is right, the real reminder of Islam and my beauty.

I began to feel guilty for not offering Salat and I decided I would take that step forward and open a book and learn on my own. Alhamdulillah I am doing wonderfully, and I am now praying 2 to 4 times a day. I can't begin to explain how comfortable it feels while offering Salah to ALLAH - there is none like it.

Now that you have read my story I want you to realize that every step I took towards Allah, he took 100 towards me. I don't miss the crazy teenage life which is all around me and I am happy with the sacrifices I have made because they are all for a good purposes. Bismillah, Ar-rahman Ar-raheem I have been spreading the knowledge of Islam to those who care to listen as well as plan to make Da'wah speeches later in my life and teach young children about Islam. I hope to share this beauty with others who misunderstand Islam. Alhamdulillah...I am only 17 and have so much more of my life to do the sharing!

Remember, no matter where you are, who you are, what you look like, you can embrace Islam and practice it. Let Allah be your strength!