I love my master; Thus I perfume myself with This long-rotten squirrel.

I lie belly-up In the sunshine, happier than You will ever be

Today I sniffed Many dog behinds - I celebrate By kissing your face.

I sound the alarm! Paper boy-come to kill us all - Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! (Works with Garbage Man, too)

I lift my leg and Whiz on each bush. Hello, Spot - Sniff this and weep.

How do I love thee? The ways are numberless as My hairs on the rug.

My human is home! I am so ecstatic I have Made a puddle.

I Hate my choke chain - Look, world, they strangle me! Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!

Sleeping here, my chin On your foot - no greater bliss - Well, Maybe catching rats

Look in my eyes and Deny it. No human could Love you as much as I do.

The cat is not all Bad - she fills the litter box With Tootsie Rolls.

Dig under fence - why? Because it's there. Because it's There. Because it's there.

I am your best friend, Now, always, and especially When you are eating.

My owners' mood is Romantic - I lie near their Feet. I fart a big one.