Things Grandma Forgot to Tell You!
Sunday Woes!
To make it possible for everyone to attend church next Sunday:
*Cots will be placed in the back for those who say Sunday is the only day they can sleep late.
*Blankets will be provided for those who say the church is too cold.
*Fans will be provided for those who say the church is too hot.
*We will have hearing aids for those who say the minister talks too soft and cotton for those who say he talks too loud.
*Calculators will be available for those who enjoy counting the hypocrites present.
*Finally, the sanctuary will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who have never seen a church without them.
The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain!
*It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
*Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
*Familiarity breeds contempt...and children.
*Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
*Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
*The lack of money is the root of all evil.
*Do not put off till tomorrow what can be put off till day-after-tomorrow just as well.
Household Tips!
Kitchen Hose
*Fill old hose with onions or garlic - tie a knot at the top and hang on a hook in your pantry - it allows air circulation for longer storage.
Moldy Cheese
*Wrap cheese in a cloth dampened with a salt solution brfore refrigerating and it will prevent mold.
Soft Woolens
*Add 1/2 cup hair conditioner to 1 gallon lukewarm water and soak your winter woolens. Rinse thoroughly in water.
Upside Down Cottage Cheese
*Cottage cheese will stay fresh longer if you store it in the refrigerator with the containers upside down.
Easy Clean Grater
*Before grating cheese, lemon rind, carrots, onions, etc., spray the grater with vegetable oil spray to make clean up easier.
More tips to come!
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