Open Letter

To My Youngest Daughter

Although she may never read it, or if she does, she may not be moved or care that it comes from my heart, I am posting this open letter to my estranged youngest daughter. I don't know why it is that we are estranged, only she can tell us that. My daughter is grown, graduating college, but she is still my "baby". She has not been to see me nor spoken more than "hello" to me in two years. As any mother knows, it is painful to me.

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MY DEAREST DAUGHTER:

There are so many things that I wish to tell you. I don't know where or how to begin. First, I want you to know that I miss you terribly.

I'm not sure that I understand why we are estranged, why you no longer love me. I've always loved you so much!

I loved you so much, that I carried you to term, even though your sister was not a year old when I found out I was pregnant with you.

I loved you so much, that I stood over your crib as you slept when you were a baby because you had colic and if you ever slept I feared you wouldn't wake.

I loved you so much, that I stayed home with you and didn't work when you were young, so that I could be there with you in our home while you learned to walk, and to talk, and the thousands of other things that little ones must learn. I wanted you to learn with my help, not a stranger's.

I loved you so much, I taught you to walk, to dress yourself, to tie your little shoes. I caught you at the bottom of the slide. I walked you in your stroller for miles and miles. I kissed your boo-boos and helped with your tea parties. I gave you birthday parties. I decorated your cakes. I washed your clothes and wiped your nose.

I loved you so much, I tried to teach you right from wrong. But most of all, I tried to teach you that no matter what ever happened, you would always be my daughter, and I would always love you.

I loved you so much, that I stayed up with you for weeks on end when you were in the first grade and so sick. I was afraid if I took my eyes off of you for a single second, you would slip away from me. I laid in your bed next to you while you slept so that I could be sure you were alright.

I loved you so much, that I forced you to do your math homework. Remember how you had to do a 100 problems in less than four (?) minutes? I asked the teacher for a copy of the test, went to the library and ran off copies, helped you study, and gave you practice timed tests. Remember? You passed. 8-)

I loved you so much, that I came by the school to get you and took you to a psychiatrist when I found out you had tried to cut your wrists. You really hated me for that.

I loved you so much, that all your life I tried my best to protect and shield you from anything that might possibly do you harm. I cried when you cried. I laughed when you laughed.

I loved you so much, that all your life I stood between you and your father's wrath. I did whatever I had to do to protect you.

I loved you so much, that I took you with me when I divorced your father.

I love you so much, that I hope whatever the reason you have decided you do not love me, you will come to realize that in this lifetime, you will only have one mother, and I loved you so much, and I love you still.



Since writing this page, I have received many, many emails from mothers who are in pain. There are untold numbers of mothers whose children have voluntarily removed themselves from the family and the family's love and support. If you are one of these moms, you are invited to join the new list created for you. If you are one of the children who has found her/his way home, you are invited to join. We hope you will give us comfort.











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