The BMI
 
     The US Department of Health has created an index called the body mass index or The BMI. The purpose of the index is to determine if a person is overweight. You take your height then follow the index line to your weight and you will find your BMI index rating. A BMI rating over 24 is considered overweight. Checking the index with my height and weight puts me at about 23 1/2, close to overweight but still acceptable. Incidentally most people consider me a little on the skinny side.
     Keeping with the spirit of the index craze, I have developed my own index, the BM Index.
The purpose of my index is to determine how full of shit a person is, hence the name BM Index. The index is based on a secret mathematical formula known only to me. The index number indicates the percentage of time a person is full of shit.
 
The ratings for The BM Index are:
 
 100+ 
  Someone so full of shit, it's running out their ears 
 76 to 100 
  Too full of shit to see straight
 51 to 75  Full of shit most of the time
 26 to 50  Often full of shit, but believable over half the time 
  6 to 25  Over 75 % of the time is telling the truth
0 to 5
  This is acceptable, most honest people rate here 
 
 
 
Below are the ratings of my Top Ten BM'ers: In reverse order of course.
 
 Rating 
Person - Title 
25
  Bill Clinton - President of The United States
27
  Ross Perot - Businessman
35
  Monica Lewinsky - Former White House Intern 
42
  Pete Wilson - Former Governor of California
45
  Kenneth Star - Prosecutor
75
  Bill Archer - Chairman, House Ways and Means Committee 
80
  Orrin Hatch - US Senator
96
  Newt Gingrich - Former Speaker of the House
98
  Bill Gates - Co-Founder & CEO of Microsoft Corp.
 100+ 
  Rush Limbaugh - King of the BM'ers
 
 
 Why each person got the rating they did:
 
 Bill Clinton  Liar, liar pants on fire.
 Ross Perot  Does not know what he is talking about.
 Monica Lewinsky   Naughty Girl and a big fibber.
 Pete Wilson  Big tax giveaways to the wealthy.
 Kenneth Star  Never disclosed why he spent $40 mil. dogging Clinton.
 Bill Archer  Big tax giveaways to the wealthy, wants to end income tax. 
 Orrin Hatch  Fought against raising the minimum wage.
 Newt Gingrich  Full of it on just about every subject.
 Bill Gates  Interested in making more money and nothing else.
 Rush Limbaugh  Distorts almost everything, when he doesn't distort it he  
 only tells half the story.
 
 
Here is the fun part
 
     I will rate myself a 1 on the BM Index. There are times when I've been known to "sling a little", but I try extremely hard to give my readers accurate information with as little bias as possible.
     Readers this is your chance to add someone to the BM Index, or disagree with my rating. For each reader who submits a BM rating for someone on the BM index, I will recalculate that persons rating with a new rating based on the readers average ratings. New people added to the list will also be given a rating based on the average rating of all entries with their name. Just E-Mail me the name of the person, their BM rating and a brief reason for the rating.

         Thanks Everyone
 
                             The Expert
 

  The Expert's Home Page