As parents we are all, or at least should be concerned enough to want to protect our child /children from any type of abuse, this includes sexual abuse. Unfortunately, with the way of times we presently live in we can't always be there to do that. However, we can make the time to educate our children about sexual abuse in order to increase their awareness, build coping skills and hopefully decrease their chances of becoming a victim. This can all be taught in a non- threatening, non-frightening, matter-of-fact way to children of all age levels. Knowledge is power and power is a child's best defense. A defense each and every child needs to possess in order to protect themselves.

Even the most informed, best educated child/children will not always be able to avoid sexual abuse, under certain circumstances; however, research shows that children who are educated and well prepared are more likely to tell you or another adult if in fact, despite their efforts to avoid a situation abuse does occur.

You As A Parent Can Help To Prevent Child Sexual Abuse Simply By Taking Ten Minutes Out Of Your Busy Schedule Each Day To Teach Your Child/Children The Following:

Talk to your child/children every day, as well you should listen to all of what they are saying whether it be with words, actions or the sudden silence between the words of one whom has always been an outgoing child.

Get to know your child's personality traits and daily habits and mood swings; therefore, it will become much more noticeable and easier to identify when something out of the ordinary.

Please take the time to teach your child/children that there are both good and bad touches. Please do so in a delicate manner. Be careful not to scare them away from your everyday hugs and cuddles. Children need to expression love and affection to grow up happy and healthy.

Educate your child/children by teaching them the proper names for the different parts of their body. It could play a very important roll in identifying abuse before anything serious happens.

Please stress to your child/children that no one is allowed to touch their private areas/parts or do anything to them that makes them feel uncomfortable in any way. Be sure to teach them that some adults might try to touch them in an inappropriate manner, this could very well include adults they might know, love and trust. Sexual abusers can be a variety of different people not just a stranger off the street; such as, family members, or other relatives, or a family friend. Please keep in mind a high percentage of offenders are someone your child knows. Tell them this does not give them the right to abuse them nor does it make it acceptable.

Teach your child/children that it is very important not to keep secrets from their parents, even if someone has threatened to harm them or their parents. Make them aware that by coming to you as loving, caring and most of all, understanding parents you can stop the abuse and that they may be able to prevent further abuse from happening to not only themselves, but to others as well.

Suddenly your child/children start wetting the bed.
You child/children starts to act more infantile or suddenly appears to be regressing.
Your child suddenly develops fears and phobias of things he/she has always been used to.
Your child/children suddenly show reluctance to be left alone with a particular person.
You or the teacher recognize a significant change in your child's school performance.
Your child/children suddenly show signs of self destructive or overly aggressive behavior.
Your child/children suddenly starts displaying sexual knowledge that is inappropriate for one his/her age through words, actions, or in play.

Physical signs that indicate you should bring to them to the attention of your Pediatrician and/or seek other medical attention even if only as a safeguard.

You notice your child/children mirroring adult sexual behavior, persistent sexual touching and feeling of their bodies, with other children or toys.
You notice or your child complains of sore or swollen genital areas. Your child complains of unexplainable pain during urination or bowel movements.
Your child has bleeding, irritation or discharge of the mouth, anal area or genitals.
Your child shows signs of a sexually transmitted disease, urinary infections.

Please note that there are many other signs not listed here and that these signs in and of themselves do not provide conclusive evidence that your child has been or is being sexually abused; however, they should be carefully examined and brought to the attention of your child's pediatrician for the sake of your child's safety, health and well-being. Often children who have been subjected to frequent sexual abuse have more specific symptoms, some of which are listed above.

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"When Sexual Abuse Happens To Your Child"

All to often young victims of sexual abuse become silent and do not tell anyone about the abuse they have endured. There are a wide variety of reasons for this some more complex than others; however, it is this very silence that enables sexual abuse to continue. Therefore, protecting the sexual offenders and allowing them to roam free and continue to hurt the children who are being abused.

Sexual abuse at any age is an extremely difficult, confusing and traumatic experience to have to deal with. It is our job as parents to protect our children from such abuse. Looking at the statistics it appears that all too often we have fallen short of this duty. However, together we can change that. We can stand up and fight to protect our children against all types of abuse simply by educating ourselves first and in turn use what we have learned to educate our children.

The cold harsh reality is that we as American's appear to care more about our animals and their rights than we do the children of this great nation. Just take a look at the statistics that prove in the Untied States alone we have nearly three times as many animal abuse shelters as we do victim abuse shelters. Wake up America and tell me what is wrong with these statistics!

Let us help break that silence and make children aware the no longer need to suffer alone. Teach them we are here for them when they need us.

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The silent child/children often:

Are far too young to understand what has happened to him/her. Unable to communicate verbally what has happened. Remember sexual abuse knows no age limits. Unfortunately, it can and does happen to even the smallest of children whom are only weeks old.

Are often threatened and or bribed by the abuser to keep the abuse a secret just between the two of them. It is a scarey thing for a child to have their life or the lives of family members threatened if the tell the secret. Often they are afraid that even if they do tell no one will believe them. We must prove them wrong. It is very rare that young children lie about sexual abuse. You must let them know you believe them. Assure them it is not their fault, they did nothing wrong and they are not being punished. This kind of attention can be confusing, causing them to feel ashamed and embarrassed and stirring up mixed emotions especially if it is someone they know, love and trust. They then worry about getting into trouble themselves or getting a loved one into trouble.

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This page was updated on: 21 May 1997

"Ten A Day Keeps Abuse Away"© is from the published works of K.A. Johnson & A.K. Montegomery, Phd. and; therefore, may not be reproduced in part or in whole by anyone unless you have obatained the express written permission of both authors and CAWSCORP, Inc.

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