The Page O' Observations

I, like many people, liked the show Seinfeld...Now I have many observations that I thought that these would make a good page. This page is constantly being added to so come back often!

New: 10/12/99

I hate it when you talk to people who are really quiet and they get mad at you for saying "what?".

New 8/13/99

When i am working, I help a lot of people, Some people ask some questions, then a few minutes later, they ask the same question. Hey, My answer is still the same!

Someone once asked me if you can use some kind of plug outside. They said: "Can I use this outside even though it says you can't?" Ha ha, you just answered your own question! DUH!!!

Light fixture boxes say what kind of bulbs to buy up to a certain wattage. Some people complain that they can't go higher. "Why can't i put a higher wattage bulb in?" Those limits are there for safety, so it won't start a fire. If you wanna start a fire, go ahead! Then they ask: "Are you sure" YES!!!

For some reason people see a box with a picture on it they wanna open it up and see it inside the box? Why do people wanna do this?

When some people ask where somehing is i can take them to it. Some people will start talking about where the item used to be. I don't care where it used to be. We do move things around!

I hate it when people call me by my name just because i have a name tag on. They must think they are cool or something. I don't know you! CALL ME SIR!!!

Some people are to lazy to come over and get me to help them. Someone actually started whistling. I didn't notice it right away. I looked up to see what it was. This guy was about 100 feet away. I AM NOT A DOG!!! I DON'T RESPOND TO WHISTLES!!!

I hate it when people come to the store and don't know what they need, or what kind, They come so unprepared, that we can't help them. A lot of people don't know what kind of wattage they need. That's one example!

Observations!!! 7/4/99

I worked at a Home improvment department store. Many times when I am working in my deparment, i get this question: "Do you work in this department?" I could be on my hands and knees cleaning something and still get this question. When i am not in my department, walking aroung to get somewhere, people don't ask me, they just start asking me a question. I may have no idea about what they are asking. DUH!!!!

It Boggles my mind why some people just leave thier carts in the middle of a major aisle. Some just sit there for a long time and take up space.

Some people just do not know how to drive and park. Why can't some people park in the middle of a stall. Some people park right on the line and some people just are stupid enough to take 2 stalls.

I worked at a Fast food restaurant. Many times people come in and want to pay with something like $5 in change. I'm thinkin': yeah right i really wanna count all that in pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters. To me when people do that...that's saying "Sorry man i'm broke...I had to raid my Piggie bank and now you get what i have saved for the past 30 years".

Did you ever notice that on psychic commericals there are never any male psychics? I wonder if women know something that men don't know. I wonder how many women are psychics and don't wanna tell anyone just becasue they don't want a commercial.

When you see commercials for movies...did you ever notice that "Siskel and Ebert" give it 2 thumbs up? Yeah so they have 2 thumbs each...They should really be giving 4 thumbs up, right? Maybe they are supposed to do that but all Americans think 2 thumbs up is supposed to be good. And why Siskel and Ebert? Are they getting paid just to give 2 thumbs up??? Anyone could do that! Heck, I could give 2 thunbs up!

We all watch the weather forecasts. Meteorologists always give a percent chance of rain or snow. So what does that mean... If it's a 50% chance of rain... that is really saying it will either rain or it won't. Plus the percentageis always in 10 percents. I have never seen a: 56.6903% chance of rain. Why do they give you current conditions? All you gotta do is look out the window.

I have heard some Golf announcers talk. Some think they know everything. I have heard when they say; "Well Bob that ball should break right just a little bit." And when the ball does they say " hey what i tell ya" But when it goes left they don't say anything.

I will never understand how some U.S. measurements came to be. For Example, The mile, It's 5,280 feet wouldn't it be easier to round to 5,300 feet or just 5,000 feet? I have noticed that over Water, that ships don't use the standard mile measurnent, they use the NAUTICAL mile, which is 6,076 feet or 1.15 miles. I don't know where this came from but why not round that to just 6,000 feet.
It's the same with MPH over sea it's knots. 1 Knot is supposed to be 1 nautical mile per hour.I don't know why it's knots but it's a strange measurment
The standard foot is 12 inches, i think it should be 10 inches. That would make it easier, and why break the inches into 64ths, that ridiclus. When something measures 5in. and 7/64ths those 64ths are kinda small.
Did you ever hear about the measurement of a Rod? Well it's 5 1/2 yards. I don't know what this is used for. i have never heard anyone use this before. It's a useless measurment. Apparently 40 rods make a furlong, which i have never heard used before. Well 8 furlongs makes up a mile.
Next is Avoirdupois weight...i have no idea where this word is from ,but it measures everyday objects. The smallest weight here is the dram, which i have never used! It's 27 11/32 grains. i don't know how big that grain in supposed to be. 1 ounce is 16 drams or 437 1/2 grains. I don't know anyone who measures things in grains. Now the ton is right on. 2,000 pounds is easy to measure, but the pound is 16 oz. Why? Why not round to 15 oz. and make it easier!
100lbs is also called a short hundred weight. I don't know why. Nobody's ever said to me; "this rock is a short hundred weight. For some reason a long hundred weight is 112lbs. that makes no sense.
Did you ever hear of the drug measurement called Apothecaries'Weight? That sounds like a name of someone. But who? A big druggie? The smallest unit here is the scruple which is 20 grains. Which makes sense becasue it's rounded. Although i have never heard drug lords try to sell 1 scruple of cocaine!
1 Apothecaries' Dram is 3 scurples. Why not make it 5? An Apothecaries' ounce is 8 Apothecaries' drams. Why not make is 10?
An Apothecaries' pound is 12 Apothecaries' ounces...why not make it 10 ounces? These measurements are kinda off i think.
Fluid Volume measurement is a little more understandable, but still complicated! The smallest unit here is the teaspoon. 3 make up a tablespoon. The name is kinda strange. i think 5 teaspoons should make up a tablespoon. How about changeing the name of tablespoon because it so much like the teaspoon. I made cookies once and it called for 3 teaspoons of salt. I accidentally put 3 tablespoons in. That was 9 times as much salt as there was supposed to be! The Cookies were good but salty.
All the measures here are a odd ball numbers to me!
The Dozen is 12 units. i think it would be easier to just say 12 instead of a dozen. People will say i want a dozen eggs. When 12 is easier. The other day when i was working...I was in the kitchen closing and someone came back and said "About a dozen and a a half people just came in" This was about 3 minutes before we were supposed to close. The first thing i said was "Wouldn't it just be easier to say 18?" he just looked at me and said "I'll say what i wanna say" Ya sure, maybe if you have a gross, which is 12 dozen or 144 units. Ever hear of the bakers dozen? it's 13 units. i have no idea if bakers even use this. it's a odd number!

Do you think that there is another name for a thesaurus? It sounds like a dinosaur name. Maybe there was a dinosaur named a thesaurus?

Have you ever been given the finger? I have. Oh it's just so offensive..ya right! it's just a finger! I see people get upset over that!

I was serving some people one time where I work, and they had ordered small, medium, and large sodas. So I gave the sodas to them and someone said "Is this the Large soda?" GET A CLUE!!! If it's the largest cup..it's the large!!!
Followup: This has happend twice now!

When you look for underwear...why do you call it a "pair of underwear" It's only one. A pair is 2!

Have you noticed that most bread is generally square? But bolonga and Salami are round! That doesn't make sense!

I have Noticed that in Cartoons. When the People laugh. they laugh with their eyes closed. That really looks kinda stupid.

One night when i was closing at work...I started to mop and there where still some people in the dining room...The lights were going off and i brought the mop out. They asked "Are you closed"? Now it was pretty obvious!!!

Why isn't palindrome spelled the same way backwards.??

Some people have big problems with a drive thru window. People have asked, "Are you there" when we are right there. Some people want ice cream for "their Dog" They say that like we think they are cool or something. We aren't going to make it any different if it's for a dog. Someone wanted to know the flavors of blizzards we had so we read all of them off and then he said: "Ok, forget the blizzard" Some people keep asking for their stuff, to go! Of course it's to go!

I saw i sign once at Walmart saying that seeing eye dogs are allowed in the store. Well, if you can't see why would you buy anything? The dog can't say "Hey Bill this would look good on you, buy it" He would have to say "Well since i can't see.. I better take your word for it"

I have seen that there are intersate highways in hawaii but they stay in hawaii. Why not call them State highways???
(Source: Unknown)

I think planes shoul have parachutes under the seats instead of flotation devices. You can't float at 10,000 feet.
(Source: Unknown)

Why is that fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing and priceless and worthless don't. Price and worth are the same thing...so they should mean the same thing.

If it's Illegal to drink and drive...why do bars have parking lots???

I once saw a car ad that said "It's a great car. It has 4 doors and 3 wheels. Hmmm...a 3 wheel car. i don't think that will run right. Who wants a car with 3 wheels???

If airliners can make the "Black Box" indestructable...why can't they make the entire plane made of the same stuff???
(Source: Unknown)

We all have seen the ginsu knive commercials. They show the knife cutting through a tin can and even a shoe. Then thay say "Yet it's still gentle enough to cut this tomato" I don't need a knife to cut through a shoe. I bet the original slogan was: "Ginsu Knife-for the Murderer in all of us"

I saw a car commerical once that had a car driving underwater just to introduce it. At the end is small print it said: "Driver on Closed course...Do not drive in the Ocean." First if your car is in the ocean...You probably had an accident and are drowning.

I was shopping one time and saw am electronic organizer. It said it had a 200 year calender. Why would you need to know what day it is on May 4, 2186? you'd be dead by that time.

For some reason, everyone just accepts the 9/10ths of a cent we all have to pay when we get gas. Yeah, everyone thinks it's 98 Cents to pay but nobody ever says "It's 98 9/10 cents for a gallon of gas. What is this 9/10ths of a cent for?

I was watching tv one day and there was a commerical that had two people jsut using sign language. The TV display said the Commerical was Captiond. I thought that was odd!

© 1998 jonspears@hotmail.com

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