pantsnow.wav(21k)

    Stuart: (Charlie's Dad) Heed! Pants! NOW!
 
 

axe-head.wav(215k)

    Stuart: (Charlie's Dad) William! Move your head! Look at the size of that boy's heed!
    Tony: Shhhh!
    Stewart: I'm not kidding, that's like an orange on a toothpick!
    Tony: Shh! You're going to give that kid a complex.
    Stuart: Well, that's a huge noggin! That's a virtual planetoid! Has its own weather system! Heed! Move!
 
 

shutit.wav(24k)

    Stuart: (Charlie's Dad) Mae! Shut it!
 
 

piperdwn.wav(47k)

    Stuart: (Charlie's Dad) We have a piper down! I repeat, a piper is down.
 
 

pentaverat.wav(407k)

    Stuart: (Charlie's Dad) Well it's a well know fact sonny Jim that there's a secret society of the five most wealthiest
                people in the world known as the Pentaverat, who run everything in the world including the newspapers,
                and meet triannually in a secret country mansion in Colorado known as the Meadows.
    Tony: So who's in this Pentaverat?
    Stuart: The Queen, the Vatican, the Getie's the Rothschild's, and Colonel Sanders before he went tets up. Oh, I hated
                the colonel, with his *wee beady* eye, and that smart look on his face... Oh, you're going to buy my chicken!
                Ooooh!
    Charlie: Dad, how can you hate, "the Colonel?"
    Stuart: Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes you clean your fort nightlies,
               *smartass!*
    Charlie: Interesting,... cuckoo!
 
 

axe-evil.wav(58k)

    Charlie: Eeevil... like its the frooits of the deveel.... Eeevil!
 
 

martarts.wav(42k)

    Charlie: You know, Scotland has its own martial arts. Yeah, it's called *fukkyew!*