Pete Kelly's Blues

Maggie .......... Well, Vita, what does she say about this?

Kelly .......... Only that she loves me.

Maggie .......... She tell that to Baccilides?

Kelly .......... Right to his platinum teeth.

Maggie .......... (Laughs, but not in amusement). I’m getting that feeling, Petey, like my grandmother used to get.

Kelly .......... And what's it tell ya?

Maggie .......... That Vita's preparing herself to be bride and a widow both in the same day.

Maggie .......... You do that, Pete, fast and far.

Kelly .......... So long, Maggie. I will.

Maggie .......... And if I were you, I wouldn't stop moving til I heard 'em speaking foreign languages.

Kelly .......... (Over piano music). Well, marry Vita and I’m a dead bridegroom. Don't marry Vita I'm a dead bachelor. I decided to try to be a live fugitive. I raced the Hispano back across the river, pulled up sharp in front of 417 Cherry. The brakes never made a sound.

Red .......... Pete?

Kelly .......... Yeah, Red?

Red .......... You being pushed out?

Kelly .......... Its that or carried out. Now look, boys, I’m not gonna be around for a while. Little business I gotta take care of. Well, you'll hear from me, so Just keep at it right here until......Red?

Red .......... Yeah, Pete?

Kelly .......... In the alley, huh. (FOOTSTEPS, DOOR.)

Kelly .......... Look, Red, I’m in a jam.

Red .......... What can I do to help, Pete.?

Kelly .......... Thanks, but nuthin. I gotta keep moving. Maybe it'll cool off in a couple of weeks, maybe not. Meantime, try to keep the boys together.

Red .......... Sure.

Kelly .......... Well...

Red .......... Well..

Kelly .......... So long, Red, take care of yourself.

Red .......... Petey, need anything, a couple of bucks, a brewski(?)?

Kelly .......... No, I’m fine. I’ll see ya. (FOOTSTEPS, MUSIC)

Kelly .......... Well, it wasn’t easy, I was gonna miss the boys, I missed Red already. No, it wasn't easy. But there was only one exit. I drove around to the rooming house, raced up the stairs. All I had to take was a clean shirt, my other suit, and my book of arrangements. I’d hightail it east, just keep rolling til I ran out of road. That was the plan, until I got to my room.

She was stretched across my bed, and she looked right at me as I came in. There she was on my bed looking right at me but I was all alone. Now Vita would never be anybody's widow. She was too dead to say ''I do.'' The stocking from her left leg was where no girl's stocking oughta be, knotted tightly around her throat.

Well, I tiptoed back to the door as though she was a light sleeper, I closed the door very gently behind me and then I raced down the three flights into the street, into the Hispano, and into high speed. There was no lamming out of this one. You just don’t hit the road in a car belonging to the stiff you leave behind. For such violations the law is strict. Also Baccilides.

Well, I pulled up hard in front of Sour Sammy’s joint. This time the brakes cried. Barney Ricketts was sitting in his usual table in his usual state, boiled and loud. Barney’s the only ex-bootlegger in the country who went broke in 1922. He says he did that to aggravate a couple of prohibition agents he hated.

Barney saw me come in, waved me over to his table.

Barney .......... Ah, Pete Kelly, welcome Petey and have a drink.

Kelly .......... Look, Barney, I’m up to my eyes.

Barney .......... Nonsense, Petey, you haven't even opened 'em yet.

Kelly .......... Ah, here we are, a drink for you and a drink for me.

Kelly .......... Now, listen, Barney, I'm in trouble.

Barney .......... Petey, I have suddenly become oppressed by the state of the world. Well, it’s my own fault, Petey, my own fault. I make it a rule never to look in the public prints, but tonight, just listen to these few choice items.

Kelly .......... Now look Barney, right now I’m a moving target for Baccilides.

Barney .......... Last night's edition of the Star. Look here, Petey, September 8, 1923. Girl forced to leap from stranger's automobile. Now just remember, Petey, that the only girls who leap from stranger's automobiles are those that climb into them. And here, look here...
......................DATED DEATH: The Kansas City Star was founded in 1880 by William Rockhill Nelson.
......................Kansas City is two adjacent cities, one in Kansas and the other across the border in Missouri.

Kelly .......... All right, Barney...

Barney .......... California politicians say they are responsible for President Calvin Coolidge's success. Probably insist Petey that its in honor of their state that he's called Cal. And this, Petey, German marks quoted at 28 cents per million...

Calvin Coolidge became President on August 2, 1923, and chose not to run after 1929

Kelly .......... Barney, look, there’s a dead girl in my room.

Barney .......... So you see, Pete, even a German millionaire, is post hard to feel like thirty cents.

Kelly .......... Now look, Vita Brand, Baccilides girl, she's dead, Barney. In my room.

Barney .......... Well, now ..that’s most careless of you, Pete.

Kelly .......... If I run its the law, Barney; if I stand still its Baccilides.

Barney .......... How did you get mixed up with Vita Brand and Baccilides?

Kelly .......... I don’t know. I’m still in last week’s fog. She wanted to marry me. Baccilides said I would or else. Why, Barney, why, if he torches for her?

Barney .......... Very simple problem in human relationships, Petey. Tonight, word got out that Mugsy Brand was sprung.

Kelly .......... Who's Mugsy Brand?

Barney .......... Vita's father. He was sent up last year. Vita is his whole life. He tried to guard her like Lupo guards his cash register. He hates Baccilides, and If he learned that he and Vita.

Kelly .......... Yeah, now its coming in to focus.

Barney .......... Sometimes, Petey, you're dullwitted. Dullwitted, but stupid.

Kelly .......... So Baccalides and Vita rigged it to disarm her old man. She marries me, takes the heat off Baccilidies.

Barney .......... Splendid, Petey, splendid.

Kelly .......... And her old man winds up throwing the knife at me. All I gotta do now is explain Vita's body in my room to Mugsy Brand.

Barney .......... Precisely what Baccilides expects you to face.

Kelly .......... Alright. Glue the rest of it together for me, will ya?

Barney .......... Baccilides is married. He could never square himself with Vita. He got in deeper than he wanted to. He couldn't dump her because of Mugsy coming out. So, he ties her onto you. Takes her up to your room, leaves her dead on your bed.

Kelly .......... How do I back out of this one, Barney?

Barney .......... You know where to reach Baccilides?

Kelly .......... Yeah, the Grundy bank.

Barney .......... His dice games?

Kelly .......... That's right.

Barney .......... All right, go there. See Baccilides. Lay it on the line for him. All the way, just like we talked in here.

Kelly .......... He’ll cut me down.

Barney .......... Might.

Kelly .......... How much edge do I have?

Barney .......... Not quite enough to shave with.

Kelly .......... But maybe just enough to cut my throat, huh?

Barney .......... It's your only chance, Pete. You're in the middle of a three way push - the law, Baccilides, and Mugsy Brand.

Kelly .......... Alright, Barney. I'm counting on you on the outside.

Barney .......... Don't worry, Petey, I'll be there with bells on.

Kelly .......... Make sure they don’t toll for me.

Baccilides .......... Hold it! Next time knock, or you pick up a lot of weight.

Kelly .......... Yeah, or a silk stocking around my neck?

Baccilides .......... No, for you a knife. In the fingers of the best shiv man in the country.

Kelly .......... Mugsy Brand?

Baccilides .......... Don’t try to run, Kelly, he likes a moving target. Just go to him. Tell him his daughter is in your bed, a stocking round her throat. Tell him you don't understand any of it. He will be very sympathetic.

Kelly .......... Well, that’s nice, Mr. Baccilides. You set it up real nice.

Baccilides .......... Smart, eh?

Kelly .......... Sure, you persuade Vita to buzz it around that I'm number one. Everything fixed for her father’s ears. Even get her to help you push it across by going up to my room.

Baccilides .......... You tell a good story, friend. Maybe too good.

Kelly .......... Oh, put that rod down, Baccilides before you drop it and break your toe.

Baccilides .......... Maxie, take him downstairs. Come back alone.

Barney .......... Petey, look out! Get down!

Baccilides .......... Mugsy!

Kelly .......... Barney, you all right?

Barney .......... Shellshocked.

Kelly .......... (Grunting of dying.) Mugsy Brand?

Barney .......... Yes, Pete. I knew where he was. All he heard was Baccilides.

Mugsy .......... (Low, badly hurt(Kelly.

Kelly .......... Yeah, Mugsy?

Mugsy .......... Baccilidies. I got him?

Kelly .......... He was between the guns. Not much left of him. Or his triggerman.

Mugsy .......... Or me. Now listen. In my poke. Money. Take it, my kid, good burial...

Kelly .......... Easy, Mugsy.

Mugsy .......... She was only a kid. Maybe if she met a guy like….

Barney .......... He's gone, Pete.

Kelly .......... Yeah.

Barney .......... What did he mean, Pete. A guy like who?

Kelly .......... Who knows, Barney, who knows…
....................''''.. DATED DEATH: Jazz was always big in Kansas City. Sports? The Dallas Texans moved to KC and became the Chiefs in 1963.
....................''''.. The baseball Royals didn't start playing until 1969.