Big fish in a small pond - David - The Grossman Family

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According to the local conventional wisdom, anybody who is good enough can make it big in the United States. We were told that someone who builds a better mousetrap will control the industry.

However, that is not necessarily the case.

Apple arguably builds a better "mousetrap" than Microsoft, but there are clearly other issues at play.

My own attempts to convince others that my mousetrap was better or at least "good" led to sobering experiences. Perhaps I can empathize with Apple - albeit for different reasons.

I did feel that I could make my mark in the world, but my springboard, the United States, was too big and impersonal. I was lost. I felt like a small fish in a big pond.

People in America try to emulate those who have made their mark in the world. They try to copy the success of certain role models.

This theory does give people the impetus to work harder. However, many other people - my competition - seemed to have similar ideas.

Perhaps that was part of the reason that I could not succeed as an American in the United States. Perhaps that is why I was only successful when I was involved in Zionist organizations, such as AZF, the American Zionist Federation and AACA. In those cases, I competed with fewer qualified individuals.

Was it me?

I taught in an inner-city high school, but I couldn't work out my salary and payment system properly

I taught English in a good high school in Brooklyn, but faced the tyrannical, self-hating Jewish principal and department chairman. The principal recommended that I get a dispensation from my Rabbi, so that I could teach late Friday classes

I worked in a major union library, but faced another tyrannical, self-hating Jewish boss

On the other hand, I was a successful teacher in a religious Jewish religious junior high and high school, but I couldn't live on the salary that they offered

I tried to get a job in a public or academic library, but there were no positions available for those with my handicap (I refused to work on Shabbat)

I tried to enlist the assistance of the American Civil Liberties Union. I looked for jobs in Jewish employment offices, in order to avoid problems with Jewish observance. I complained to the authorities repeatedly - and lost.

I knew that I had the credentials to succeed in these places, but no institution was suitable.

This was more than frustrating. Surely, I could make it. That was the American dream, wasn't it? What was wrong?

And why wasn't I able to succeed until I came to Israel?

I gave the States a chance to prove itself

However, I did give the States an opportunity to prove itself. It failed. I was not prepared to give it a second chance.

Was I always a success in Israel? No.

I failed in Israel when I tried to act as an American
I failed in Israel when I tried to achieve more than I was destined to achieve
I failed when I became greedy and set my sights too high

I did succeed when I recognized my own limits, and when I set my sights at the proper and appropriate level.

Yes, in some cases I was wronged in Israel. At the behest and urging of those whom I respected (but against my better judgment), I sued the perpetrators.

I always lost.

In retrospect, I realize that the advice I received about suing was very similar to the story that I had heard previously in the States.

"Take the guy to court," they said. "I know people who sued, and they made lots of money." Right. The great Israeli dream of winning against the capitalist monolith. Sounds familiar?

Nonetheless, I was lured into the lawsuit. I was greedy. I forgot the lessons that I had learned while I was in the States. I thought that I could win, just as others have won.

I was wrong. I lost. Every time that I tried to transport the American dream to Israel, I lost. Whenever I tried to fight the system, I lost. I wasted my money on legal expenses. I lost time at work.

I lost whenever I tried to act out the American dream.

Over the course of the years, I was offered numerous opportunities to travel abroad. I couldn't. I did not want to re-vist the world abroad that had disappointed me. I wanted to remain in the land that caused me to be a success. I wanted to maintain my feeling of being settled in Israel. I wanted to remain in the place that I could call my own.

Israel was the key

I was a good student, but not at the top of my class. As soon as I decided to collect degrees in order to use them in Israel, I became a straight A student.

My efforts in the Student Struggle for Soviet Jewry, SSSJ, were successful because they were related to Israel. That's where Russian Jews were expected to go. The Association of Americans and Canadians for Aliyah, AACA, was successful under my guidance, and I was elected president of the North American Aliyah movement.

My direction became clear. If everything related to Israel was successful, then I had to go to the source of Israeli activities. I had to go to Israel itself.

The logic worked.

I can't explain it. Perhaps my mindset changed. Perhaps I was more determined to succeed in Israel – although I don't really think so. Perhaps Israel offered some other psychological difference. After all, I do believe that I tried to succeed in the States.

True, I have fewer rights in Israel. Perhaps that is why I do not feel so bad when I am denied some of those rights.

Israel compensated for this lack in other ways. I was suddenly and immediately important, welcomed, and appreciated. Israel was thrilled and excited that I offered skills and fields of expertise that they needed. For the first time I felt that I was indispensable. It wasn't that I loved the country. It was the opposite. Israel scooped me up, and its magnetism held me.

Sights vs. destiny

Israel allows people to adjust their sights. The United States urges people to strive beyond their destiny. This may explain the main difference between some of those who will be a success in the United States and some of those, such as myself, who will succeed in Israel.

Some people need the push that the United States offers. However, the great American dream of setting your sights high can also be the basis for frustration with self-starters such as myself. Israel is small, and it lets people set their sights small.

I know my limits, and I can succeed without outside pressure.

I can succeed in a small pond – and the pond doesn’t get much smaller than Israel.

The future

I am now prepared to respond to two pivotal questions:

What will I leave behind?
Will I have any regrets?

Clearly, another dollar that I earn – or another million dollars – will not make a difference after I’m gone. Furthermore, money takes on less significance as I move away from the Great American Dream.

What, then, will make the difference? What do I want to leave behind?

These burning questions continue to guide me as I decide what to do in order to continue my success.

I no longer think of myself. I now think of what will be left behind after I’m gone. This mature approach offers a more successful and sober manner of looking at my future.

Where do you want to go now?