חייך קודמים
Your own life is what matters to you

Many people give good advice on how to succeed in life and what you should do. Not always do they have your interests in mind. Sometimes they have their own interest in mind but they package it in a way so that it will sound or seem like they want you to do things that are good for you.

For example, people might give you advice about ways in which you should live your life. Listen to their advice. Take it into consideration, but then evaluate it with your own perspective in mind.

For example, somebody was told by a clerk in an office to leave their cell phone on all the time. He was told that it would make life a lot easier for him because then he would be more accessible and he wouldn't have to miss any calls.

That may be the case, but this person was doing just fine without having his cell phone on. His cell phone was turned off most of the time. When he left his landline phone he felt more free and he was able to think about other things. He needed that break from the phone when he was away from it.

For this person, and for many others, leaving the cell phone on does indeed make him more accessible and that is precisely the problem.

Why did this clerk tell him that he should leave it on and supposedly life would be better for him? It wouldn't be better for him. It would have been better for the clerk. That way the clerk would be able to reach him more easily and wouldn't have to leave a message. The clerk would be able to have instant response.

That's not what this person needs. That is certainly not in his own best interest.

This is one of the problems with listening to everybody's advice.

Those who do listen to what everybody says are sure to fail. They are going to try to make everybody happy except for themselves and they won't even be able to distinguish between what is good for them or not good for them.

Another person wanted to retire in order to be able to publish a book.

He was not able to handle that together with his regular busy activities and he needed to have the extra time. It was important to him to publish the book.

He was met with a great deal of resistance from others who told him that you have to continue working. Work is good for you. It's not good not to work. It's not good not to get up at the same time every morning. It's not good not to have a resonsible job. It's not good not to make money.

All of these arguments may have been valid for somebody who didn't have a book to be published, but if he had an activity, a valid activity, and the only way to do it was to retire then he should have received the support that was necessary in order to be able to achieve his goals.

He should consider his own life and his own needs and then act accordingly and not listen to those who violate his life and his needs.

Does this mean that you shouldn't listen to what other people say? Of course not. However, whereas you should take it into consideration you should also make sure that you also consider your own life and your own needs and then weigh your life and whatever other people say and act according to the things that are best for you.

In another case, there was an adolescent child who was influenced by bad friends and they actually convinced her to leave home. They suggested that she make up a list of reasons for leaving home. She then went to authorities through a hot line and she left home and she put herself in the position in which she was never able to return home, by listening to the bad advice of friends. The word friends is used here quite loosely. Perhaps we should say peers but she considered them to be her friends and she certainly did not choose the way of life.