"He doesn't stand a chance?" Then change the date, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable to do so. It's the lesser of two evils.

Let's explain.

In a misguided effort to avoid looking bad while they face issues at home or at work, some people make the mistake of dating when they should remain at home. As a result, their mind isn't on the business at hand.

Changing the date may indeed make the person look fickle – or worse. However, if keeping the date will also cause problems, then it may be time to make an important decision.

When should you cancel the date?

You may want to cancel or postpone a date if you can point to and describe a specific overwhelming issue at home or at work. Share this feeling with your confidant – without referring to generalities. This would be better than going out with a poor fellow who will suffer from your problems. That's not fair. Give him and your relationship a chance.

If, on the other hand, you are rarely or never available for dating, then you may want to look inward:

• Why do you feel that way?
• Do you object to or are you afraid of a date with somebody from the other gender?
• Do you object to this particular date?
• Do you object to this particular person?
• Are you afraid that this date might lead to a commitment?
• Should you reduce your workload?
• Are you involved in more activities than you can handle?
• Is it time for a vacation?
• Do you have a medical problem?
• Are you avoiding or hiding something?

An introspection may reveal some surprising answers to at least one of those questions.