Young men and women have different feelings of attachment to Israel. These feelings are engendered by external forces as well as their own way of seeing the Jewish world.

In many instances, a girl's intense attachment to her home may extend to her feelings for her future home - and also to Eretz Yisrael as a future home. Her attachment may be much greater than that of a boy.

There is a reason for this phenomenon. The boy often spends more time in the Yeshiva that with his family. As a result, he may feel more of a connection to his Rebbe or his Yeshiva friends than to his own family. This reduced connection with his home may also be reflected in his weak connection to his "homeland." After all, Israel cannot be expected to be more of a home for the boy or for the Jewish people than the home provided by his own family.

Interestingly, the boy is usually given the privilege of selecting the location for the new couple's future home. He often selects a location that is convenient for his continued Yeshiva studies, rather than a location that is close to the wife's parents or place of work.

Zionist and non-Zionist Yeshivas

The approaches mentioned on this page may be affected by the Yeshiva's orientation vis a vis Israel. However, a boy who goes to a Yeshiva that is oriented strongly toward Zionism does not always see the concept with the same intensity as a girl. Conversely, a boy who studies in a strongly anti-Zionist Yeshiva may feel an intense affinity with the country that he has been trained to reject.

Each couple will have to determine the relative weight of family, Israel, aliyah, and other issues. However, there is no question that the boy and girl will each see Israel differently, and that Israel is likely to be a strong issue requiring various compromises in many pre-marital discussions.

Summary

Don't expect to learn a great deal about your date's orientation by asking some simple or blithe "yes-no" questions about Israel or Zionism. Both of you may be on different wavelengths and you may understand concepts differently.

If Israel is important to you - either in a positive or negative sense - then you should discuss it at great length on your dates. You may be amazed by the intense clarifications that will be required.