How can you handle a situation in which you want to marry a particular girl, but she is not interested?

This issue is difficult issue than it may seem at first blush.

Let’s face it: In most issues, including dating, men have the upper hand. True, most young men and women would like to marry, but women do feel the pressure more than men. The fact that you, show a woman that you are more interested in her than in others may increase her pressure to get married. However, although you have the upper hand, is it wise to take advantage of your extra power or strength?

Usually not.

Keep in mind that your commitment to marry has two parts:

1. A momentary commitment – whether to go through with a wedding
2. A long term commitment that should last for the rest of your lives

It should not be something that you try out to see how well it will work out. You should not use this opportunity to test how much your date will tolerate. You should not feel that if it works out, fine, and if not, then you can separate.

This need for a real commitment should be taken very seriously before making any decision.

Look at it another way.

If you pressure the girl to marry you, against her better judgment, then she may well acquiesce. However, you will then be faced with a reticent woman who has agreed to something that she really does not want. She is not likely to forget that fact.

During the course of your marriage, your wife may indeed agree (half-heartedly) to things that you want, but only after constant pressure and tugs-of-war for years to come. That is not a very healthy marital situation.

True, there are various ways to deal with this situation after the fact. They are not always successful. However, you may be able to create a happy marriage – even though it was less than ideal to begin with.

But would you really want to begin a relationship on this basis?