Berurim sometimes reveal only positive information about a potential match. As a result, your date may turn out to be quite different from that which you expected as a result of the Berurim. Although this may be expected, you are likely to be frustrated, since you are looking for a balanced picture that will help you make the most important decision of your life.

There are various reasons for this phenomenon:

• Their friends, family, teachers, and Rabbi all have a vested interest in their marriage to a good person such as yourself
• The date recommends the contacts, so s/he may brief them in advance about what to say – or what topics to avoid
• People want to be careful about Lashon Hara, gossip, even though it may be permitted if it has a reason - To'elet
• People may not lie, but they may refrain from revealing things:
  • They may not reveal everything they know
  • They may not reveal everything that you need to know in order to make a proper decision
• Positive information ("she's a very good cook") sounds "corny"