If all goes well, your meetings with the confidant should follow the following format.

If all goes well, your confidant should be able to have a one sided conversation about blue issues (with corrections and clarifications from you), and you should be able to have a one-sided conversation about red issues (with corrections and clarifications from the confidant).

What can you call these one-sided conversations? They aren't really monologues. Let's call them the opposite of conversations. They are proversations.

• You discuss your needs, you desires, and what you want
• You asssure that both you and your confidant understand each other
• You put out the word that you are available
• You receive an offer
• You and your confidant consider whether to accept the offer
  If yes,
• Check the references
• Discuss the findings with the confidant
• You and your confidant prepare a list of positive and negative issues
• You and your confidant prepare a list of issues to discuss on your dates
• Prepare a short list of 3-5 priority foci for the first date
  After that date,
• You and your confidant determine whether there will be a second date
• Complete the list of issues to be clarified on subsequent dates
  • Add new issues as needed
  • Take written notes of feelings immediately after each date
• Review the facts periodically with your confidant
  • You and your confidant determine whether there is a sufficient reason to terminate your dates
  • Only you determine whether to continue
  • Only you determine whether the next stop is the chuppa