In some circles, a person will admit to being "into shidduchim" as a euphemism for dating. Both concepts mean pretty much the same thing, except that a matchmaker (a shadchan) is involved in a shidduch.

That matchmaker is asked to find a suitable partner and to set up the date. The matchmaker takes a fee for services rendered from both sides.

This traditional method works well if the matchmaker is qualified for the job. However, as with any other hired employee or worker, you should verify that your matchmaker presents the requisite skills. She should do more than simply match people randomly based on broad generalities from a database of available men and women.

Who is the best shadchan?

That question is easier to answer (but the person is harder to find) than you may think. The ideal shadchan has the following qualifications:

• She knows both you and the potential partner personally
• She knows and understands what you want
• She knows and understands what the partner wants
• She does not pressure the sides needlessly
• She has the interests of both sides at heart
• She has a proven record of arranging successful, lasting, and happy marriages

That's quite a tall order. The more of these requirements that your shadchan can meet, the more you can relax with her recommendation.