A child who leaves home may be torn between his biological and his adoptive home. He may feel a simultaneous but paradoxical allegiance to both and also to neither homes.

If this does not cause enough confusion, the child may be satisfied with the new arrangement, while simultaneously expressing a desire to maintain contact with his old home. This may occur at any stage, even after being out of touch with his biological family for an extended period of time. His renewed contact may be triggered by a monetary or emotional need.

In some cases (but not all), this dual allegiance may be proper, welcomed, and acceptable. It may indicate a hope of being able to ultimately return to a (possibly strained) relationship at home.

He has no place to call home, and his worsening situation could lead to a tragedy. It would be far better if the real family would take the difficult step of breaking off from the child.

A child who shows a desire to break off communication while maintaining contact may need someone to interpret the reciprocal actions. Although he understands his own break, he may not understand that of others. A family that reciprocates by maintaining a break sends a message to the child. He may then begin to understand, feel, and realize the concept of breaking off from and not being part of the family. This may ultimately lead him to choose to return home. There are, of course, no guarantees that this will be the case.

On the other hand, a child who tries to dance at both weddings may feel that he has has nothing to return to. That confused child may continue to believe that he is part of both the biological and the adoptive family - meaning, in effect, that he has no family at all. The child requires assistance in order to select only one family. Only in that way will he feel that he has a place to return.