Some children need to convince themselves that they have a good reason for leaving home. They perform acts that may be ultimately detrimental to any hope or possibility of returning home.

The child's need to burn bridges is a serious problem. He may tell stories to various people in order to embarrass you. His ultimate goal may be to extract something that he wants or needs from you in order to make him stop his saying these things.

It is difficult to stop a child from burning his bridges. People who know you may dismiss a story from a child who burns his bridges as a lie, unless they do see you as an unworthy person.

Others may accept the stories, and they may feel that you are strange as a result. Still others will be titillated by the excitement of the child's stories. There is little that you can do about this.

It is often very difficult to remain silent. You may be insulted, concerned, or horrified by your child's abhorrent statements, but acting on them often makes the situation worse.

In other words, if you do not make a fuss about it then the statements made by the child may be forgotten especially among some people.

If you do relate to the issues, then people will see that you are taking them seriously. In that case, they may feel that there is truth to the statements. For this reason, you may choose to allow the child's statements to run their course.

This becomes more and more difficult as time passes and you realize that the child is still being defensive, still making up stories, and still giving reasons for leaving.

However, you may be able to look back after some time and consider that the repercussions are likely to have been limited. Although your child's statements may be more and more wild - in order to top his previous stories - they may not have had much of effect. Future repercussions are likely to have a similarly limited effect.

Thus, the fact that your child is trying to goad you with more wild statements is not a valid reason to step in and respond. It is simply an indication that your child is becoming more frustrated, depressed, concerned, and helpless about his situation, and that he wants somebody to help him. This is a situation for a professional.

The parent, on the other hand, should realize that it would be more kind to maintain the break from the original home, so that the child will have a place to return to one day. The child who shows that he wants to stay in both locations may well feel uncomfortable in both places.

This is a useful technique when the child was removed from the home, or was faced with other overwhelming factors such as frequent pressure from peers. That child must now overcome the forces that were responsible for causing him to leave home. This takes a great deal of inner strength. The child who has no contact with or support from a biological family must receive this strength in another way.

In addition, the break from the family may help the child decide whether to remove herself or himself from the negative elements that triggered his decision to leave home.

A parent who truly loves a child who burns his bridges will consider the long term effect of any action. It would be foolish to respond or to correct one bad situation by creating a different one.