The child is likely to realize that he or she has done a very foolish thing that has major and long-lasting ramifications. This discovery may take place as early as a few minutes after leaving home.
An easy way to justify his mistaken actions is by bad-mouthing his home and his biological parents. The bad-mouthing is sometimes based on truth or on a partial truth. By accusing others, the child can draw attention from himself. Many people will be very interested in knowing why he left. Lashon Hara can be very powerful.
The child cannot bring herself to admit his mistake. Nor can he admit that he should not have deferred to peer pressure. For this reason, he creates true or untrue, legitimate or illegitimate, justifications for leaving home. The child announces, "Listen, World, I had no choice but to leave home. It was very bad for me at home. I did my utmost to stay. I am now happy to find an alternative home and my life is much better than it was before."
Most people who hear an outpouring of badmouthing accept it in a limited way, especially those who are familiar with the family. Unless it is discussed, denied, argued, or otherwise pursued, the badmouthing is often quickly forgotten.
Thus, most families that do not respond to the badmouthing suffer minimal effects. Many of those who hear the statements accept the fact that the problem in rooted in the speaker and not in the family.
This badmouthing can lead to a stronger stage, burning bridges.
Such children may work very hard to prove that their new life away from their biological parents has taken a turn for the better. They have a need that their step step was wise and that it had been the most obvious thing to do. They feel a need to prove this forced reality to a range of people:
However, therapy and a permanent return to the biological home will be much more difficult until the child accepts the real cause for his actions.
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