When your child leaves there may or may not be a reaction from the rest of the family or from the neighbors, friends, or relatives. That depends partially on how well you handle it and partially on those neighbors, friends, and relatives.

However, there are other issues to consider.

When you feel those inevitable pangs of guilt, perhaps you should also question whether the child is the right one to evaluate your practices. Perhaps the child does have reasons for leaving. Maybe they are justified; maybe they are not. However, the child is just that - an immature person who does not understand the reasons why you did what you did. He certainly cannot evaluate your parenting practices.

You may have indeed been a bad parent, but if so it is unlikely that you are reading this website. More likely you were a good parent and the child's evaluation was unjustified.

It was more likely to have been a rebellion - a protest - which is normal for any child.

Those friends, neighbors, and relatives who may look askance at you and your behavior should keep the same factor in mind: was the child the right person to evaluate your parenting?

Actually it would be better if they would mind their own business, but since this is less likely, then they should consider this important question.

They will then realize that the child should not be the one to evaluate your parenting and this should quiet them.

Unfortunately, most busybody friends, neighbors, and relatives are not likely to think of things in this way. If they want to be judgmental, if they want to be busybodies then they will also evaluate and if the tongues wag, they will think about their reasons why the child was justified in running away. The sympathy will lie with the one whom they perceive to be the underdog, that's the child, and they may give reasons why the child's evaluation was justified.

They are wrong.