Friends are not people who leave you alone and that you do what you want. They are not people who let you relax. Friends are people who make you work. They give you a job and a function in life.

In some cases friends need someone to listen, but listening can be hard work.

In other times friends show you that they need you and they give you a good feeling about the work that you are doing. You feel needed and wanted and you have a purpose in life and a special purpose for that friend. You are doing something which is appreciated and the friend shows the appreciation and indeed the friend is managing better in life because of the things that you are doing.

When you have no purpose for somebody, when you aren't needed, when you can do whatever you want, then you go on to somebody else who gives you a reason for existing, a reason for doing things. A person who cares about what you do because you are doing.

So friendship means doing, it means being actively involved in things.

As a parent or as a sibling you also need jobs and functions. If your children no longer need you then you have lost a significant part of your relationship. The strongest way of showing this is when a child leaves home. When children leave you alone that means that they no longer need you. This is not a sign of maturity, this is a sign that you are no longer needed. It is a bad sign for your relationship.

A child starts off in life being totally dependent upon the parent. As time goes on, the child becomes more and more independent. At a certain point the child leaves home. Usually because of good circumstances, but that does not mean that the parent is not needed. The child shows that the child needs the parent in many ways.

If the child leaves in a demonstrative way showing that the child no longer needs the parent, that the parents' contact is no longer relevant to the child, then there is a problem with the relationship.

Those cheap, plastic friendship bracelets which were once so popular are an example of a need for participating or doing even in a small way. Of course, people who wear those friendship bracelets are not necessarily friends. It takes more than wearing a bracelet, but it is significant that there is a minor commitment involved in order to be called a friend. The commitment is either to buy the bracelet, if it costs a token amount of money, and the wearing of the bracelet is another commitment. It means that the person showing friendship or receiving the friendship is doing something, is needed, is taking part in a friendship activity and is not being just left alone.