Sometimes a child does not leave of his own accord. The child may be removed or encouraged to leave by various authorities. You may feel that the child should have stayed at home, and that the removal was unjustified. You may even feel that the child was kidnapped legally - even though that concept does seem like an oxymoron.

Whether you are right or wrong is not the issue. After a child is kidnapped, it may not make much difference whether he was removed by the authorities or by a criminal. It will be very difficult for that child to return.

Kidnapping adds a feeling of helplessness to the factor of disgrace. You may feel as if the authorities pointed a finger at you and declared that "We, in our ultimate wisdom, have decided that you are not worthy of raising this child. You are an inferior parent. We know what is best for the child, and you don't. We have removed this child for his benefit, since you have failed as a parent."

As a result, the family may feel that the child's removal magnifies any mistakes that they may have made while raising the child.

Under these circumstances it would be advisable to have a counselor. His job will be to establish a positive feeling within the family. Unless it has been clearly shown that the family has acted in an unbecoming manner, then they must be reassured that they should not feel these recriminations. It may be possible to explain that the child has opted to seek asylum with the authorities because they, through the social services organizations, can offer basic needs of food and clothing. However, that does not necessarily pass judgment on the suitability of the biological family. It simply means that the child has managed to convince the authorities to support him. In this way he was able to leave home.