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In certain cases it is useful to reject the child who has left. That's right. It isn't always a good idea to chase after that child because the child is going to then create or set demands and keep increasing and enlarging the demands each time. Chasing the child means that the child is in control of the situation. You don't want that. You want to be in control of the situation. The child left in order to create a circumstance in which he is in control of the situation. You should not let him discover that by doing something wrong, such as leaving, that he can be in control. The best way is by showing rejection. This is often difficult but it just may help you win your child back in the long run.

The child who is rejected has to prove to himself and to the world that he is a good member of society. The fact that he has to keep on proving himself means that he's going to continue to be good. A child who is spoiled does not necessarily have to be good.

A child who leaves and is rejected by his parents and siblings will have to show how great they are now that they have left home. They may well do everything possible in order to demonstrate that leaving home was just fine and that they are now flourishing and succeeding in the outside world.

Onlookers or observers may take this in the wrong way. They may say, you see, the child was suffering while he was at home and now the child is doing very well. Obviously the home is the negative influence which caused him to suffer.

You can just quietly smile when you hear these things. The truth is that you are getting precisely what you want. The child has to prove himself so the child is being extra good.

Keep in mind that this is a child who had problems. That's why the child left. And now you are in control of the situation by rejecting the child and not letting the child pull you along. The child has to show that he is managing very well by himself and doing very well.

This procedure does not work well in every case. Every case is different and every chld is different, so that this rejection may backfire with some children. You have to try it out gingerly and see if this is what you really want with your child. If it does work, it should work very well.