Your strongest tool when dealing with a child who left home may be silence.

Nonetheless, a counselor should advise parents not to respond to any accusations. Any response would be likely to lead to lashon hara. Maintaining silence gives the parents the upper hand.

Silence helps many people forget the issue - and limits the damage caused to the family reputationYour reaction will determine your child's next step. Reach less, and your child will have less of a response. That is why silence is so powerful.

Children cannot misinterpret silence. They are likely to take any necessary steps to cause you to terminate your silence. They always look over their shoulder to see your reaction to their behavior.

Others may also hold your verbal responses against you. Their feelings will range from sympathy for your child, to rebuke for handling the situation incorrectly (according to their perception). Your silence can help you avoid uncomfortable issues with people who may not be of assistance.

Your silence may help you avoid problems with your child's peers. They can make fewer interpretations of your "real" meaning if you are silent.

However, some people feel the need to act urgently - or sometimes even hysterically - out of concern for what others may think.

This need not be an issue in today's day and age. Today's children leave home in pandemic numbers. Everybody knows others who have left. They will accept your situation with equanimity - and it may even be forgotten. Some people may casually inquire about where the child is or why they child has left. Tongues may wag for a few days. Nobody will make as much of a fuss as you would expect.

You can succeed best by taking the initiative. You may explain briefly and calmly to some people that your child has left, that it's just fine, that the child is finding his own way in life. The less said, the better. There will usually be practically no social repercussions under these circumstances.

On the other hand, there will be repercussions among people who can report about you being being distraught or overly concerned. Surprisingly, the fact that the child has left home is of far less significance or importance to most people.