Home is the place where, Sometimes a child who leaves home should not return. This may be difficult to accept, especially if you want to follow your heart, but there is another way of looking at the situation.
Of course, there are cases in which the family exhibits a negative influence, or a legitimate or logical problem. A family that batters a child should first undergo counseling.
Another consideration should be the desire of the child. If the child who has been removed or who has removed himself from home does want to return, then steps should be taken to comply with his wishes. The situation is different when the child does not want to return home. We may ask,
A first step would be to consider the child's age. Younger children would benefit more from his natural parents. Older children may be more capable of making their own her own life decisions. In general, a young adult in his late teens can often decide whether to live at home. He should not be forced to return.
Sometimes children become accustomed to their new circumstances over the course of time. The desires of a child who chooses to remain away from home after being away for more than a year should be respected. The new circumstances may even supersede improper or incorrect causes for removal.
After being away for some time, the child may have accepted and made peace with a new life that is meeting his needs. He may want to save face or to avoid explanations with his peers.
The decision is too great to make independently. The child should be offered counseling in order to help him understand the significance of any decision. If some objective situations can be corrected or changed in order to make it easier to return home, then she should be given the necessary assistance in order to do so.
Furthermore, a child who burns his bridges behind him is giving signs that his return may be fraught with additional traumas. By inviting recriminations, he is creating circumstances that will asure him that he will not be welcome at home. A good counselor should verify whether these actions are based on his own desires or commitments, or on peer pressure.
Forcing the child to return, or allowing him to return prematurely, could be counter-productive in the long run. He may indeed return, but he will develop reasons or ways to avoiding home and to strengthen his resolve to stay away in the future.
In any event, the child must have a channel of communication with the parents so he can come back home when he is ready.
These guidelines may seem rather harsh. Indeed, they are not applicable in all circumstances. Keep in mind that your child's mind is complex and in a turmoil. It would be wise to talk this matter over very carefully with a confidant in order to avoid hasty decisions.
when you have to go there,
they have to take you in
- "The Death of the Hired Man"
Robert Frost
It may be counter-productive to return home
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