Many professionals exacerbate an already problematic situation. There are two possible options:

The overworked professional

Whereas a child may have left home simply in response to a dare from a peer, or as a result of a similarly innocuous issue, they now have to deal with intensive pressure from a string of impatient and overworked professionals, all of which want instant results.

The climbing professional

Other professionals may want to advance their own careers, so they look for a way to write an article about the case. This is increasingly important in today's "publish or perish" world.

This professional tries to find or develop hidden meanings in the words of the poor child so that he can write a good article. If there are not enough issues to create an article, then the professional may help the child develop them:

• Are you sure that such-and-such never happened?
• Is it possible that you forgot such-and-such an event?
• Many children who leave home experience such-and-such. Are you sure it did not happen to you?
• And so on.

The psychologist, social worker, teacher, case worker, Rabbi, or family therapist may be putting words into the child's mouth.

However, once the child "admits" things that were extracted from him, he must maintain that falsehood with other professionals as well. The cause may be different, but the result is the same - we're returned to the Big Lie.

The active meddlers

Meddlers in positions of authority (or others who influence those in authority) may take active steps that will harm your child. A child's heartbreaking story is likely to appeal to the sympathy of adults.

Your child can easily wipe out a lifetime of good will that you have developed among your peers with fifteen minutes of tearful descriptions. Those descriptions may or not be valid. Ask any teacher who has had to listen to reasons why the child did not prepare homework.

Thus, by leaving home the child does have the upper hand. He knows this, because he has consulted with his peers who have rebelled successfully.

Again, it is important to accept several facts:

• Your child's Big Lie does work!
• After seeing how effective it is, your child is likely to use that Big Lie to achieve other things later in life
• Your years of efforts to teach your children honesty will be affected by these events
• Your child will counsel others to leave and to be dishonest
• Your honest responses are no match for your child's tearful, but dishonest arguments