Don't tell an older child or an adult if he is a softie that he has nothing to lose by demanding his rights. It's just not true.

He has a great deal to lose. He may lose a fistfight. He may lose a his limited pride. He may lose a court case that would result from his unskilled show of toughness.

Softies are often sorry that they made the mistake of engaging in a battle. They regret following the faulty advice that "they have nothing to lose." Even after losing the fight, these poor souls cannot complain to the one who urged them to fight for their rights. They can't say anything, because they are softies.

It may be better for softies to gently accept the fact that they will lose from the outset. It may be better than getting a bloody nose - and then losing the original issue anyhow.

Nonetheless, people who are not pushy are exposed to threats from many sources, and not just from bullies. They are frequently warned that if they don't put their foot down, then those bullies will take advantage of them next time even more. They are told that the bullies are looking for their weaknesses, and that they would hand them a victory unless they stand up for their rights.

That sounds like a serious problem. It certainly offers a nice, quiet guy an incentive to act out of character, and to put their foot down.

However, the advice is likely to be faulty.

People would be well advised to accept their limitations. The truth is that no matter what some people do, bullies will probably pick on them. Give them just one bit of advice: Deal with it.

This is because the argument presented by those friends has omitted an important consideration.

It is true that you may be in a better position against that bully if you stand up against him – and win. He may respect you, and he may not pick on you again. However, there's no assurance that the fight you won will be your last.

On the other hand, if you follow the advice to stand up to the bully, and then you lose, there is no question that you will be in a worse position than ever. That bully will never forgot that you stood up against him and lost. Now the bully will have to repeatedly defend his pride. Your position will be worse than ever.

To make things worse – since you are a softie, you certainly do stand a real chance of losing.

Conclusion: You may as well be a nice guy!