Label
on a child's
Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment
does not enable you
to fly.
- Source unknown

Most experts agree on the importance of setting limits with children. However, it is also important to stipulate the things that the children are permitted or encouraged to do.

For example, you may not want any of your children to lock others out of the second floor balcony. You may feel that frightened young children could take desperate steps - such as jumping over the wall, or trying to break down the glass door to get back in the house.

You could forbid them from locking that door before checking that nobody was outside, but there are other ways to handle the situation. You might announce specific liberties, such as where to get wild, and where to throw balls in the house. The children will be shocked by your uncharacteristic liberalism, and they will then be prepared to view the prohibitions as a relatively minor imposition.

Use this teachable moment to instill a respect for privacy in the bathrooms. You may point out that there is no need to lock the bathroom doors, since there have been no problems or mistakes about entering bathrooms accidentally. This can prevent the problem of children being locked in – which would be similar to the frightening feeling on the balcony. Neither the balcony nor the bathroom would turn into a threat during a temper tantrum. They would use those locations as needed, and they would not prevent others from entering.

Thus, a bit of forethought can help you "package" your restrictions and limitations in generosity and liberal indulgence to the childrens' desires. You're happy - and they're happy.

However, this method does take forethought and planning. You have to predict and anticipate what schtick the children will want to do – and to offer them alternatives before the issue arises.

It also means putting yourself in their position, and thinking what they would want to do.

However, it is much easier and workable than trying to implement this method after a problem arises.