A child who has been restrained, despite his need to rebel or to explode, will let out his feelings in another way. His feelings must be released. His alternative release will be unpredictable - and there is no guarantee it will be more positive. Furthermore, a child who feels controlled may respond with an additional, secondary rebellion.

You do not have to allow your child to act in an unrestrained manner. Do listen and relate to his needs. Do not forbid him from letting it out.

There may be socially acceptable ways to release internal pressure, such as running, volleyball, basketball, swimming, or other sports. A passive form of relaxation, such as a game or reading, may be appropriate for other children. In any event, show that you understand the child's need to release his feelings, and that you are taking steps to provide appropriate opportunities.

Alternatively, it may be best to let nature take its course. You won’t like the rebellion, but you know that it represents a beginning and an end to a difficult and possibly uncomfortable situation. Your Rabbi or counselor will help you guide the rebellion in a positive direction, so that your child will learn to act properly.

Try to listen beyond your child's tone. Although foul language is never acceptable, you may be able to ignore an angry or sarcastic tone. He feels strongly about the issues. After he has expressed himself, you can encourage him to calm down so that both of you can talk properly.