Do not rebuke a child in the presence of others. The child should be taken aside privately so that other children do not know or hear that he is being rebuked. This method of dealing with only two people is far more effective.

An exception to this may be if the child is used as an example for others, so that they will see that what was done is wrong, le'ma'an yishmeun ve'yirawun and be forewarned. This should be used to a very limited and restricted degree. Do not to make one child a scapegoat on a repeated basis or he will rebel. Furthermore, consider the issues involved in embarrassing th child.

An individual session with the child will prevent him from putting on a show for the siblings. They will not make fun of or tease him later. They also will not think of ways later to "get back" at the parent in order to defend their sibling.

Granted, the child is likely to tell the others based on his own point of view, and there may be fallout from his report but it will be less intense than if everybody is a witness to the actual rebuke.

In general, rebuke should be used in a very limited way. Any other method should be attempted for instructing a child rather than rebuke. The Torah teaches that it is very difficult to give rebuke to people in our generation. Only those who are capable of accepting rebuke should be given rebuke.

Too strong a rebuke could ultimately lead to various undesirable issues:

• Leaving home
• Disciplinary issues
• Rejection when the child is old enough to reject the parent

What, then, are the alternatives to rebuking a child who has done wrong?