This page is still under construction.

There are obvious and good reasons to reconcile. However, you have a life to live. You have to do what is best for yourself.

There are some people who make the reconciliation an obsession. They try so hard to reconcile that they try to push their children on them and they pressure too much.

They may call the children a number of times a day. They may spend large amounts of money on the children in order to "buy" them back, and much more.

This doesn't work. It has never worked and it's not the way to bring your children back to you.

Yes, you should take normal steps if both sides are interested and willing.

However, a forced issue won't work and an issue in which the children see that they "have you" under their thumb because you are so concerned about bringing them back and so involved in resolving the alienation will surely backfire.

After all, the children want to punish you. Alienation is one way in which they solve their need to punish you and they feel good about it. If you show how much they are successful in punishing you, then they will continue what they feel is their only success story that they have with you.

If, on the other hand, you do not pressure them, you do not show that you are traumatized by the fact that they have alienated you or that they have left, then they will realize that they have a job to do. That it is their part and their job to fix up the problem that they ahve created and they will decide whether they want to work towards it.

Of course, at this stage there are two possibilities, either they will decide to fix things up ro they will choose not to fix things up.

If they choose to avoid fixing things up, if they choose to avoid a reconciliation, then there's not much that you can or should do. It's a shame but you will know where you stand.

If, on the other hand, the lack of pressure on their part makes them feel that they do want to have a reconciliation, then both of you will be in the same position and both of you will understand and feel the need to get together.

Once both of you are interested in reconciliation, the rest of the job is much easier and you can just let nature take its course by expressing a mutual interest and working toward resolving your differences.