If people
listened to themselves
more often,
they would talk less.
- Courtois's Rule

Many people believe that they are having a discussion when they speak to somebody else. However, that is not necessarily the case. Talking is only one element of a good discussion. Granted, you cannot have a discussion without communication, but a lot more is involved.

A discussion involves fairness. Both or all parties to the discussion must have an equal say, with equal status, and everybody's opinion must be valued in an equal manner.

Thus, a successful discussion assures that neither side will have an implicit stipulation or understanding of the conclusion. They will not insist on achieving results according to their own agenda or their own view of right or wrong. Although they may call such communications "discussions," they are more likely to fit into other categories:

• Announcements
• Venting of their feelings
• Arguments
• A fights