Listening well
is as powerful a means
of communication
and influence
as to talk well.
- John Marshall

Mediation is not the same as discussion.

Mediators are called in when two parties cannot reach conclusions with face-to-face discussions. The mediator often sits between the two parties. He listens to the arguments presented by each side separately, and tries to understand both points of view. He tries to find issues in which they are close to agreement, and then he encourages each side to give in a certain amount. In this way, he helps them reach a mutually acceptable resolution or conclusion.

The mediator does not have to advise. He has to help people reach a joint agreement. It's a special way to solve problems.

His goal in the beginning is to draw both sides to conclude relatively "easy" issues. One side may give in on one minor issue with little difficulty, and another side may give in on another one. The mediator can then demonstrate that the partners have made progress.

The moderator's initial strategy is to keep chipping away at things that are most likely to be able to be resolved. He continues to coach, push, demonstrate and encourage the sides, by showing that the issues aren't as difficult as they thought they were. This constant, continuous feeling of progress assures the sides that they can resolve the rest of the issues.

The mediator will often show the sides where they were in the beginning, and how the mediation has already removed some of the problem areas. He may congratulate both sides for their cooperation. He may note the number of problems that were faced in the beginning, and how many remain. At a certain point, he may announce that he is pleased with the progress, and that he hopes to continue resolving more and more of these problems.

By the time the partners reach the more serious or difficult issues, they will be used to giving in and agreeing. At that point, they will be less reticent and more willing to handle their most complex issues.

Mediation is becoming increasingly important in today's world, as a method of resolving conflicts between intransigent individuals, business establishments, organizations, or countries.