At this point in my life - Fighting - Articles about Psychology

Why prove to a man he is wrong?
Is that going to make him like you?
Why not let him save face?
He didn't ask for your opinion.
He didn't want it.
Why argue with him?
You can't win an argument,
because if you lose, you lose it;
and if you win it,
you lose it.
Why?
You will feel fine.
But what about him?
You have made him feel inferior,
you hurt his pride,
insulted his intelligence, his judgment, and his self-respect,
and he'll resent your triumph.
That will make him strike back,
but it will never make him want to change his mind.
"A man convinced against his will
is of the same opinion still."
- Dale Carnegie

This page is still under construction.

Life does not always go along smoothly. There are frequently bumps in the road and it is important to decide how to deal with them. The question is whether you are going to let the bumps control you or that you are going to control the situation. This is important because you have to decide where you are going in life.

Is this issue that came up going to be something that will take over a great deal of your time, energy, and effort?

Will you be able to handle the other important things in your life at the same time?

If not, is it worth sacrificing the other things in your life?

For example, let us say that you have a fight with a neighbor. You might want to simply let the neighbor win because you stand to lose too many other things in your life as a result of fighting the neighbor.

You might think, how can I let him get away with such a terrible thing that he has done to me? I'll show him. I'll fix him.

Well, that's one way to look at things. And if your goal is to show him then you may or may not win, but there's another way of looking at it.

You might also want to say that you're not going to let that guy be the focus of your life or take over your life or let you put your own life on hold. You want to continue with your life. You want to do the things that are important to you, that you have planned on doing. You know what you really want to accomplish in life. Is it worth it to let this fellow change the things that you want to do in life?

Life is short and it is very easy to let other painful issues take over your life.

Will you then look back at your life and be sorry that you didn't accomplish the things that you really wanted to do because other people successfully interfered with your real goals?

This does not mean that you should never fight for things that are right or just. If something is important enough, go ahead and devote all of your energy to it. If you want to get your child into a particular school and you feel that another school will have a negative influence on your child and you decide that it is worth fighting, although it will be difficult, then more power to you. Go fight for it.

But before you do that make sure that you sit down and you think how much you have to gain or lose by this action. If the child does not go to this school will you be able to compensate for the problems of the schools in other ways? And if so, is the effort and compensation, the effort, the time, and the money that will be invested in this compensation, worth it?

Thus, the important questions before getting involved in a fight is to decide just how important it is in relation to the other things and the other people that are important to you. Before acting stop, think, and decide which is more important. Don't rush into a fight. You can always go back and fight later. In the meantime, you might want to think whether it is really worth it.

Where do you want to go now?