The importance of waiting

We’re always running, always looking at our watches. We never have time for ourselves, much less for others. If we’re not running, we try to look busy, in order to make an impression.

However, that is not always the impression that we really should want to make.

People appreciate when you wait for them. If you wait in the car or at the bus stop for somebody who is important to you, you’ll see their face glow as they approach. You thought you were wasting your time? That wasted time is an investment in the relationship. The joy of seeing that you gave of your time to wait compensates for the lack of productivity. It’s even more important now to look like you are being rushed or you don't make a fuss. It’s no big deal. Those who do make a fuss about what a big deal it was to wait kill all of the effect that they might have had and benefit of the waiting because people are embarrassed then and if you make it seem like you did them a big favor by waiting then you didn’t do them a big favor.

People need to be shown that you care. Waiting is a good way of showing it but if you also tell it then the telling kills the showing because the waiting itself is sufficient and if you look annoyed while you’re waiting or you honk the horn then it’s not going to have the same effect. They won’t be not only won’t they appreciate the fact that you waited for them but the reverse is the effect. It shows that you don't want to wait and you didn’t appreciate the wait and they won’t appreciate it either. It shows that you were upset about waiting for them. They weren’t important enough to wait for. But on the other hand if you when you’re waiting you also put on a big smile when they come you show that you were happy to wait for them then they feel differently.

It’s okay to do something else while you’re waiting such as reading a newspaper or a book, but it shouldn’t be something that shows that you are impatient. It should show that you’re waiting calmly and patiently and using your time properly perhaps even studying a book or learning something worthwhile by heart would also be acceptable or listening to good music on the radio while you’re waiting. These are all acceptable alternatives for waiting. Time is indeed short and very often people do waste plenty of time but it seems to me that time that they could spent offering somebody else the gift of waiting is the time when they suddenly value their time more than anything else and they feel that it’s important suddenly to use the time more wisely than other things. They are probably wrong and this is a wise investment in the time. You can worry about that other time and spend it in supposedly more wise ways some other way but not at the expense of other people when you could show them that you really care by waiting. It’s one of the fine ways, the forgotten ways, of showing somebody that you care and you can show this way more than words can ever express