My Sons.. and
being military
Oldest
Georgia
Well, lets start off with
my first born. Oldest is almost 18 now. Seems like yesterday
he was born. Oh how I wish I could turn back the hands of time.
He was so fun. Oldest was the curious child.. More than most.
He would do anything to get attention.. Even the wrong things...
But never to hurt anyone just things he knew that would get my or
his dads attention. but that soon changed as you will read..
He was born 7 lbs.1/4 ounces.
But fell ill in the first few days.. Being born a month early,
and loosing 1 pound he was soon my worst nightmare being a young
mother. They tried everything. Finally they forced fed him
and he started to gain. Slowly but it was a battle...
He didn't like MILK... basically they were saying he was allergic to it.
He hated Soy milk.. He gained enough to leave the hospital.
I went home while hubby went to boot camp.
Mississippi
Oldest was slow to learn,
mostly in reading, colors, basic numbers in kindergarten, and his behavior
got worse for the teachers. .. Doctors there said he would straighten up
and fly right and that we were just his parents, or mostly
"Your only his mother and we know what's wrong, you don't your
to close to the situation" So no medication to help him calm down...
In first almost second grade oldest started acting really badly.
throwing chairs in school, doing everything you can imagine to get
attention, worst of all running away, from school personnel. The
schools blamed us.. He did act out at home or at least NOTHING
like he was in school. They were (the schools blamed
the parents for everything back then. and didn't care and removed
my son from the school system). They told us until he could behave
he ws not allowed in school. PANIC... So he was put into a
special care facility to help him learn, forced by the schools...
BIG MISTAKE.. They drugged him up so bad he didn't know anything...
So after we found out they were in trouble with the law for the way they
were handling things (of other cases too) we removed him..
We then requested through the help of social services.. (now
we called them for help) they had him tested through the state
and found he was A.D.D. which means Attention Deficit Disorder.
Its where a child can not sit still long enough to learn.. They are
not bad children just need help in settling down to learning.
To control there behavior. And obey rules set by there peers.
Florida
Here things got really
bad. Oldest was now in regular schools in special Education ,
but he kept running away from authority (teachers). Here he was going into
Second grade and barley knew his math, colors, and reading still.
No matter how much we tried we couldn't get him to sit still to concentrate.
The school called one afternoon and said oldest had left school grounds
and they called the police. Now we lived 6 miles from the school
and he was only 7 almost 8. PANIC. He made the news (oh my
gosh..) But a police officer found him half way home walking
on a VERY busy road 5 hours later. I didn't know if I should cry
or strangle him, I was so relieved. Then the military Doctors wanted
him evaluated to see if he was A.D.D or just acting out for
another reason. again when I said he needed some medication of some
sort to get himself under control I was told" your only his mother"
UGHHHHH I wanted to scream. If I heard that one more time.
WELL, we had him placed
as ORDERED in a rehabilitation house. against our wishes. Oldest
was and still is a follower and where there is an opportunity to act out
horror movies or what ever HE DOES IT with the academy awards
right there. THE QUACKS" (doctors) he jumped on tables, saying there
were huge bugs. all the damn day. Well they restrained him. drugged
him up so he was in a stupor.
So I GOT MAD. Stepped in
got a lawyer and set it up like oldest was being video's..
(you see best time to get him acting, yes acting...) what he didn't realize
was mum was there and lawyer to watch, oh yes the QUACKS too. They
were getting ready to commit him as a bonafied fruit cake. Well,
Lawyer came up with.. the following and court ordered I might say..
(Oh I neglected to tell you at this time they were not letting me get Oldest
back or us to see him..) Anyway, lawyer said. let mum
walk in there RIGHT smack in the middle of one of his little Academy
awards. They fought it, but the JUDGE said you lost and precede with
it. (now remember Oldest never did this in front of us just for them...)
So now, he was
in full swing. I walked in. ROFL you should of seen my sons face, YIPES
MUMS HERE. Stopped everything, got off the tables, and sat down like
nothing had happened. They claimed he would not take showers as there
were "BUGS" in there so I told him to get his butt in the shower he smelled
like a little pig. He did no fuss. They knew then he tricked the
finest minds in florida. CIVILIAN that is.. He was released and we got
a transfer soon after. Since we were there for 3 years, and they closing
the base there.
Virginia
This state was one of the
best for helping us.. When we got here the doctors here listened
to us. I was no longer accuse of being his mother...
or just his mother a Doctor (who is military will remain
un-named) listened to me, within 1 hour of talking to us 8
years ago and Jamie put him on medication... Ridalin at first,,
NO EFFECT. Tried Dexedrine and clonidine.. WOW I had a great
child.. Now you figure Jamie was by this time to
be in 7th grade. and he had the learning abilities of a 1-5 grader.
So they had to place him in a special school for learning..
And he was there until he caught up to at least to go into HIGH SCHOOL
yes high school.
He has what they call and
I.E.P that is Individual Educational Program.. (Darn big words).
This is where your child is tested by the STATE in which your child is
seen by specialists.. (it cost you NOTHING) and they can help find
your children's weak spots and place him/her in those classes to help them
learn and catch up. But since I was not here it couldn't be done.
It should of been done while this child was in Kinder garden. But
the other states didn't give two hoots about him... They just wanted
to pass him (oh he was passed every year until here) and let
someone else worry about him.
I have learned ALOT
being a mother of a A.D.D child and to top it off he also has
O.D.D. Opposition Defiant Disorder. (thank god for spell check on
this machine, yipes) That is were a child does
purposely and knowingly at the time the OPPOSITE of what you tell
him or her. And have NO FEAR of the consequences. NIGHT
MARE. Well no matter what you try and do for a child you can not
make them behave while not in the home. Oldest has been arrested
now for a weapons charge in a school. Worst of all while all that
stuff was going on about kids shooting teachers and other kids. BUT
listen he didn't have a gun nor a knife. It was a piece of
tin wrapped around his knuckles, with ridges. So for that charge
and others, he is in T.D.H Tidewater detention Home.
Now the main reason no one would believe this child would do these
things was he has a wonderful smile, great looks, and (no I am not
saying as I am his parent). But the look of innocence was there.
Well, he got caught and now learned the hard way to CONTROL his temper
and MOUTH.. Still hard nosed. BUT learning. When he is on the
medication he is fine, off it well lets not talk night mares again.
ROFL he hates it. But he
comes home on the 27 of August. On probation until he is 18 normally
but since he is still in high school until he graduates he will be on probation.
And yes it follows him into adult hood.
In closing, I love
my son and no matter what he does from drive a garbage truck to run for
president I will always be his mom and proud of him as long
as he has an honest job. And shows respect for others.
Update: May 21, 1999
Oldest son did quit
school. But I will tell you why we agreed. In high school if
your son can only get for graduating a "Special Diploma" then it WON'T
get him anywhere in this day and age. So we agreed he could
quit school when he turned 18. Yes 18 and go to the adult learning
center here. THEY will get him up to speed and when they pre test
him they will move him up to each level. Its just like regular school
K-5th/ 6-8th/9-12th/ as he passes the testing for each section..
He moves up and then when every thing is at least 9th grade level he moves
in to the class for G.E.D. Then after completing that courses he will PAY
to take the MAIN TEST for GED.
He has job, and will
do this until he has paid all court cost back to us/ and damages to home
he has done. He has basically got his act together and is taking medication.
YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Lets pray he don't screw
up as of now he is an ADULT and anything he does now is his problem.
We have had to do the tough love here now. He cost us almost
6000.00 in bills over 1 year time. He has been ordered to pay us
back through the courts. If he don't we will and CAN take him to
court. He is learning that NOTHING in life is FREE...
You must pay for your mistakes.
He can remain here in our
home with knowing that if he DESTROYS anything or uses nasty words to us,
he will be arrested.., He buys his own food, and is doing well and
pays rent (which is actually paying us back for the amount he owes.) But
it helps him learn to be on his own.
Oldest is very immature
, BUT he is getting his act together and WHY is because he is finally
realizing that in life their are always going to be rules, and someone
will always tell you what to do. So WHY fight it...
Oldest pictures are
on next page..
PICTURES:
Youngest
Mississippi
Youngest was born normal,
full term, 10 lbs 6 oz. He ws a hand full. No problems feeding
that boy... He would eat like a baby rhino. We lived in Mississippi
when he ws born.. We were only there for a year before we transferred to
Florida.
Florida
As time went by we began
to notice that youngest was following in Jaime's footsteps.. No behavior
wise just slow at learning.. (oh God I thought
NO NO NO) But hesitated to learn his letters and numbers but
had trouble with colors.. Couldn't tell some colors and would get
frustrated... Then we were moving again.
Virginia
By this time we knew what
to watch for and after seeing his problems we took him to Oldest
Doctor.. A.D.H.D which is Attention Deficit Hyper Disorder..
TWO VERY BIG DIFFERENT DISEASES... Oh by the way he is a specialist
in Developmental Ped's. Anyway, same signs showed up. Here
is scotty just starting school and BAM MEdication light dosages though.
And it worked. He was doing great with minor problems here and there...
Normal kid stuff. (unless you a have a perfect child)..
As time went on oldest did very well. But the teachers were
yelling at him for pretending not to know his colors.. It was close
to the end of the school year...
When we started school that
fall, his teacher picked right up on his trouble and gave me a doctor to
see for him.. I took him to see a eye doctor who confirmed he had a color
problem.. He couldn't see dark color that were like
this.
Children with color deficiencies can not see the different shades
of greens and reds.. Let alone dark colors. SO I went
to his assistant principle and SHE WAS GREAT.. HURRAY
LOVE THIS LADY... She had a meeting with his other teachers
teachers and told then about his problem.. (they play alot of color games
and because of him, changed the colors of the closely colored things
so he would be able to play too.) Well, they were wonderful
the following year.. He was put into a teacher class that you
are always busy.... And color.. let someone pick unfairly on another
student, see her husband was color blind. She really let the
other teachers from Scotty's past realized that they were wrong
and should of seen it and not judge him so quickly.
Any ways, Oldest is
doing great, sure he does things sometimes to get attention, but
heck we all do.. But being on medication in most cases
(if you start young) will not require you to take them all your life.
But if it is not caught early and your child is not helped then they
may have to stay on it for their intire life... As Oldest most likely
will.
UPDATE Youngest.
Youngest has improved somewhat
over the last year.. He was on the honor roll in school HOWEVER
he is now on medication for depression, due to being separated from his
dad the first time since he was born. However its a light dose and
seems to be helping (I hope). He is no graduated from Speech class
and is doing great. More time for other classes. He is working hard
and it shows. He is still a bit defiant but that will be okay for
now. We will work through it after all I have 18 years of practice..
giggling.
Youngest
Pictures
Youngest
is in the big 5th grade this year and oldest a SENIOR. Both are doing
great..
Just remember dear people,
You may be ONLY THEIR MOTHER, but MUM KNOWS BEST. Listen to
what your teacher says and keep a record. DAILY RECORD.. and
then bring it to a doctor and ask him/her to read the behavior problems.
Most likely you child may have A.D.D or A.D.H.D. Children can also
have O.D.D. so make sure YOU FORCE an I.E.P from your school to test
for the abilities of your child. Its under federal guide lines and they
CAN NOT REFUSE ( teachers/ administrations) to test your child if
you request it. They can not tell you ( in some areas) if they have
the A.D.D. or A.D.H.D but can give you a basis for your child's learning
problems.
If you noticed I have
not put their names here.. I removed them due to the problems
on the net and things happening..
I.E.P is an individual program geared for just your son/daughter.
It focuses on his/her needs while in school. It helps in the
areas that child may be lacking or falling behind. It is not the
fault of any parent... OR something in there genetic makeup.. It
is review each school year on the anniversary of its initial day you placed
in in force. It is don't by the school for the school. However can
be transferred to different states. And the guidelines are under
strict rules. It in most cases is an over active gland that forgets
to SLOWWWWWWW down so one may learn. If you have
any questions.. Please email me at:
The best states so far for MILITARY children with such problems
are as follows: Virginia, California
The worst states for children is Mississippi and Florida,
Georgia...
E-MAIL ME
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