Darlings, age is a state of mind. You are as young as you think you are. Remember, you're not getting older, you're getting better. The finest wines only get that way after years of aging. Rome wasn't built in a day. The secret to wisdom is age. And you can get away with using hackneyed cliches like these all the time; everyone thinks you have such a marvelous outlook on life. Now allow me to share some of my secrets for staying vigourous and youthful.
Good grooming is important to looking young and beautiful. Be meticulous. And be sure to bathe frequently. Washing is such a sensual experience, and it will keep you looking as content as you feel. And nothing radiates youth more than a smug face. I recommend at least three full body washes a day, plus little scrubs on your face and paws each time you awake from your beauty rests. Oh...don't forget the usefulness of any kind of a wash after you have committed a clumsy faux paw such as not quite landing where you'd intented to jump. Just quickly start to bathe and everyone will think that is what you'd meant to do all along.
Aroma therapy does wonders for one's body and spirit. For example if you want to feel totally refreshed, nothing beats the smell of ground beef. Then for stimulation, I like my dad's washcloth and towels - before they've been washed, naturally. Relaxing odors are found on your primary human's clothing. Remember, however, that the best smells come from items that contrast the color of your fur. If you are white, find the darkest sweater available, and if you are black, nothing is better than a white silk blouse. Ahh, nothing like the scent of a loved one to take you back to the innocence of kittenhood.
Frequent naps are an absolute must. In fact it is not necessary to be awake at all, except when you are eating, using the litterbox or sharpening your hunting skills. (Why do humans persist in calling this all-important activity "playing"?) Outside of these activities you need to be fully awake only between the hours of 4:00 and 6:00 in the morning when it is time to take your exercise by walking and jumping on your lazy slug-a-bed humans.
For those of you whose insomnia makes it impossible to sleep more than 20 hours a day, meditation is a good substitute. Find yourself some comfortable surroundings, preferably in the sun, and contemplate absolutely nothing at all. 
Finally, you absolutely must maintain a sense of humor. See how I've dressed my human up? Isn't that a hoot? They are SO darling when you put silly clothes on them. I think they may actually enjoy it, but it's hard to tell since they don't have enough intellegence to express themselves by purring. |  |  |  |
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