Child Abuse
Child abuse is something I feel very strongly about. It is so easy not to see what is going on and it is something that needs to be stopped. I really hope and pray that this page will be of help in doing that. Child abuse does not always happen to children by strangers. More often than not, a child is abused by someone they love and trust....a parent, sibling, or good friend of the family. If a child doesn't want to show affection to someone, don't force them. There is a reason if it is only that they are uncomfortable with it.
Here are some myths and facts about child sexual abuse given by: Sierra Tucson Inc., Sexual Recovery Program.
1.) MYTH: Child sexual abuse is rare.
FACT: Recent research indicates that 1 in 3-4 girls and 1 in 6-10 boys will be sexually abused by age 18.
2.) MYTH: Children under the age of 10 are safe.
FACT: More than 1/3 of reports are children five years or younger. Age six is the average age of onset, with an average duration of 1-4 years for the abuse to continue.
3.) MYTH: If children are taught to avoid "dangerous strangers" they will not be sexually abused.
FACT: 85-90 percent of offenders are known to the child. Children have been molested by mothers, fathers, siblings, grandparents, adoptive and step-relatives, babysitters, neighbors, aunts, uncles, teachers, clergy, and coaches. Any adult or older child may molest a child.
4.) MYTH: Sex offenders are weired, pathetic, violent older men who are alcolholic and can't keep a job. Molesters are sexually depraved or homosexual and retarded or crazy.
FACT: Molesters usually appear normal in most ways. Sex crimes have been committed in all racial, religious and ethnic groups and at all socioeconomic levels. Children are abused in rural, urban, and suburban settings. The majority of sex offenders are heterosexual males and have access to sexual relationships with adults.
5.) MYTH: If a child "consents" they must have liked it: if they don't say "no" it is not abuse.
FACT: Sexual abuse is never the fault or responsibility of the child. The offender bears the entire responsibility for the crime, whatever form it takes. Most sexual abuse occurs not by force but by trickery, bribery, manipulation, and misuse of authority.
6.) MYTH: Child sexual abuse is usually a one-time violent act that involves intercourse.
FACT: Child sexual abuse is the exploitation of a child for the sexual stimulation of an adult or any significantly older person. It may include obscene phone call, exposure of genitals or breasts, showing a child pornographic materials, fondling, masturbation, oral/anal/vaginal intercourse or attempt, and the exploitation of children through prostitution and/or the production of pornography.
7.) MYTH: If a molester is caught and he/she promises to stop, he/she generally will.
FACT: Offenders almost never seek treatment to stop the abuse voluntarily. They may stop abusing the child with whom they were caught, but often another child is sought out. Abuse almost always continues in some form unless a report is made and the offender is in treatment with an agency or therapist who have expertise in working with molesters and issues of victimization.
8.) MYTH: Most children will forget the abuse if adults don't remind them.
FACT: Children usually do not forget. They may try to hide their hurt, confusion and anger because the believe the adults in their lives don't want to hear about it or it will hurt their feelings. They may interpret adult silence as blame or anger. Often very young children feel responsible and guilty about the abuse. It is very important that the victims, offender and non-abusive parent or parents be given the opportunity for therapy and support from a qualified agency or therapist.
9.) MYTH: Children do not tell the "secret" only if the have been threatened with violence.
FACT: Children may not tell because of fear or violence to themselves or someone they love. They also don't tell because they fear blame and the possible breakup of a family. Children may feel embarrassed, guilty and responsible because they were unable to say "no" or tell earlier. They feel that this tremendous hurt and betrayal is "something they just have to live with." A sexually abused child may have a difficult time trusting any of the adults in their lives. Telling is a very major and scary step for a child and they should be given support and consideration if they choose to do so.
10.) MYTH: Talking about "touching" and sexual abuse will make parents and children uncomfortable with notmal affection.
FACT:All people need physical contacts. Child sexual abuse should not be confused with contacts between an adult and child that are fond, nuturting or playful expressions of love. Sexually abusive contacts are for the benefit of the molester, not the child. Healthy, warm and nurturing touching respects and recognizes the needs and fellings of the child.
11.) MYTH: Children make up stories about sexual abuse.
FACT: Children very rarely make up stories of exploitation. Children speak from their own experience and cannot make up information unless they are exposed to it. If a child indicates either through direct disclosure or you have "reasonable cause" to believe that abuse has occured, it is always best to resolve doubt in favor of the child. Seek professional help and discuss your suspicion. Seek out agencies in the community with expertise in woking with abused children and their families.
12.) MYTH: My child could never be sexually abused.
FACT: All children are vulnerable to sexual exploitation because of their innocence, trust in adults, size, eagerness to please and need for affection.
This is really scary but it doesn't stop with just sexual abuse. Child abuse also comes in the forms of neglect, scalding, burning, shaking, beating, and negligent supervision just to name a few. We, as the adults, have the responsibility to get ourselves informed on all types of child abuse and to watch out for our children. I am a firm believer that children are loaned to us by God and we need to be sure and take care of them the best way we can.
