Sometimes, if we shut our eyes to time passing, we may miss the subtle signs of them slipping away, long before we even intended to have to say goodbye. We sleep the sound sleep of the absence of interruption and wake to find them fully dressed, having chosen their clothing on their own, their homework done and in their backpacks without our urging, and even hours passed that their shoes stayed tied. A chair in front of the refrigerator means they got their own juice, poured their own cereal, and suddenly, the bowl is even in the sink. The subtle signs of growth; changes...
I have to ask them to climb unto my lap now; I have to ask them for a kiss goodbye, and hugs in front of school are strictly forbidden....oh the days when I wished I had a free leg as one of them clung to it endlessly...now, I hold both hands behind me as they follow and pray silently that one of them will actually take one..Changes...
We wait for the day when they will judge us for who we were not for them; we wait for the day when they will reward us for who we are. We wait for the day when they know the overpowering strength of the love for a child...and we wait for the day when they will realize the overwhealming power of the love of a child. And not knowing, and not realizing...we wait...for changes.
Someday the absence of that heavy weight of a head on our chest all night will feel empty. Someday they will need that hug in front of school, but we won't know. Someday we really will watch them leave, and the rooms once cluttered and disorganized will seem chilled with neatness. Someday we'll lift their pillows and hope to find old socks underneath. Someday we'll stop wishing for changes and realize they are already here. Everyday. The subtle signs of growth...Changes.
The school bell rings and they are in my arms, one at a time, like it or not. And I won't look under the beds anymore, for ruing the day when I find nothing there. How can time pass so quickly when there is always so little of it? I loosen my grip on yesterdays and cling to all of my tomorrows, knowing that with their brightness, and their doubts, and their ups and downs, they will always hold Changes.
~© NutzMomof6~