On Carpentry.....
     When my daughter was little, she came out into the garage, where I had been working with a table saw all afternoon. The garage was filled with sawdust, and she was busy walking through it, like it was snow. She was a mess.
     "Look Dad..I'm covered in woodsand!" -Rick

On Oxygen.....
      My girlfriend and I were taking our kids out to lunch one day and to the park.  As we were driving in the car, her boys were fighting and just picking on each other. (They are 7 and 8 yrs old.)  Things were heard from the back seat like "leave me alone, NO, YOU LEAVE ME ALONE..." and such bickering.
     The older son, Jimmy, called to his mom in the front seat, "Mom, tell Michael to stop breathing my air!" -Julie Sperry

On Abundance.....
      When my friend, Julie, her husband, Mike, and their 3-year-old daughter, Thea (now grown and working in advertising), moved from New York City to Los Angeles, they got their first car, a Thunderbird.  Never having owned a car before, what did they know from keeping an eye on vital fluids, like oil?  The end result was, of course, that the engine was destroyed.  Mike told Julie they would have to get a new car.  Thea just became hysterical, practically tearing her hair and rending her clothing.
      "No! No! No! No! No!  We can't get rid of the car!  I LOVE THAT CAR!!" she tearfully screamed.  
      Mike finally said, "Thea, come on -- don't waste your emotions on a car." 
      She said to him, quite seriously, "Why not?  I have plenty." -ccwriter

On Repairs.....
     When my oldest daughter, Monica, was about 7, we had decided to get the family cat neutered. When I asked my daughter if she wanted to go with me to the vet to get the cat fixed, she replied "I didn't know she was broken." -Mary - Lima, OH

On Holidays.....
     Last spring our family had decided to take a family vacation to Florida. The two girls, age 14 and 5 at the time, had been bickering back and forth in the car. I told them "Today is National Be Nice to Your Sister Day," and they quit arguing. Two days later, they started in again. It worked before, I thought.
     I stated it was National Be Nice to Your Sister Day, and the 5 year old replied, "Again already?" -Mary - Lima, OH

On Nouns.....
     On a recent visit to my sister's home, my 3 year old, Samantha, and her brother, 4 year old Charlie, were misbehaving by running in the house.  My brother-in-law corrected my 4 year old son, Charlie by catching him as he ran by and giving him a very light swat on his behind.  He walked over to his sister Samantha and said,  with a very faked, whiney cry, "Sammie, Uncle Mark beat my asssss."   -Donna

On Rules of the Road.....
     On a sunny day driving to pre-school my son, Kyle, noticed a sign on the road of a hand with the thumb out and the red circle with the line through it. He asked me if that meant you couldn't suck your thumb over there. -Chris Bocker

On Generosity.....
     On Halloween, we have an annual parade downtown and the children that are in the parade can throw candy to the people watching. One year, my daughter was supposed to ride on a float and asked me if we had any candy she could throw. "Sure," I said. "There's 3 Musketeers in the fridge."
     "But Mom," she said, "I need more than 3!" -Joyce

On Perspective.....
     My 3 year old daughter got on a plane for the first time. While the plane was taking off she said to me, "Oh mom... look!!!!..... the ground is going down!!!!" -Microsue 

On Linguistics.....
     My 6 year old daughter asked me what the F-word was.  After I told her and explained that in our house we don't use the word, she asked what it meant.  I said something like, "Well...um...it actually means quite a lot of different things."  To which she replied impatiently, "Yeah, but what does it usually mean?"  My wife just looked at me and smiled.

On Sibling Rivalry.....
     My two nieces, Brittney, 7, and Machaela, 5, were playing in their room one afternoon when their mom overheard them arguing over something. She went to the door of the room and heard Machaela exclaim, "Brittney! You are one hard headed woman!" -Pati Golden

On Crisis Situations.....
     When my son was three, he was quite good at playing the Nintendo game Super Mario. One day he wasn't having such good luck with it. He decided to call 911. When asked what the emergency was he responded, "Help, I keep dying on Super Mario!" He learned what 911 was for that day. I learned to keep a better eye on my son!  -Susan

On Knowledge.....
     I was in the market to rent a house.  My 4 year old son and I went driving around a neighborhood looking for any houses that may have a "for rent" sign out front.  I explained that we wouldn't be able to go visit the inside of any house we found as people lived there.  He pipes up from the back seat  and says, "I KNOW Mommy...I KNOW things." -Kirsten

On Choices.....
     On a family vacation this year I was sitting in the car with my daughter (5) at a gas station, on a busy highway waiting for my husband.  It was quiet in the car when my daughter made the following observation:  "Cars only play one game, Follow the Leader, and when they don't want to play anymore...they turn." -Karen

On Foreign Lands.....
     Several years ago I had the opportunity to work with some people from other countries.  One evening we were all together at a dinner and I introduced my 7 year old son to some of them.  I remember one in particular.  "Josh, this is my friend, Munip, from Turkey." 
     A few minutes later Josh leaned over to him and asked, "Where are you from, again?  Chicken?" -Barbara in Arkansas

On Family Values.....
     I was discussing with my 6 year old daughter the value of staying in her ballet class.  "It's the foundation of all types of dance."  I told her.  Of course I didn't think she was paying attention. 
     Much later when her Daddy wanted to take her for ice cream and she found out I was going to stay home she said, "Mom, you have to go...you're the...you're the...what did you say ballet was?  Oh yea! You're the foundation of our family." -Karen

On Moods.....
     When my youngest child, Pamela (3), would wet the bed or her pants, or make a mess, she would always say, "Mommy's sooooo happy." -Terri

On Accountability.....
      While driving home with my two kids in the back, my daughter (4) started crying saying that my son (5 1/2) had hit her. "Miles," I asked,"did you hit your sister?" 
     Miles replied, "Didja see me?" -Honex

On Caution.....
     I teach a grade one Sunday school class at my church.  One Sunday, another teacher brought me a visitor who was hesitant to enter my class.  Upon our introduction, the other teacher told the little girl that I bite.  I offered her a sucker, which the other kids were having.  Still, she didn't want to come.  The other teacher who brought her told her that he was just a few classes away, and that if there were any problems she could go to his class.  She agreed to come in, but before entering she asked me, "Do you really bite?!" -Chris

On Lunch Time.....
     While babysitting during the lunch hour, I first gave the 3 year old boy his lunch then prepared my own.  As soon as I sat down to eat my lunch across the table from him, he wanted another piece of bread.  I got up to get him one and put butter on it with my back turned.  When I turned around to bring him his bread, he was sitting on the table eating my bagel.  I asked him what he was doing, and he replied, "I'm a sneaky guy!"  A little later he wanted another drink.  Remembering what he did the first time, I quickly turned to look at him and he was on the table reaching for the other half of my bagel.  "I'm a sneaky guy!" he repeated. -Chris

On Gas.....
     I was babysitting a 3 year old, who passed gas, smiled, looked at me and said, "My poo poo burped!" -Chris

On Biology.....
     After giving the 3 year old boy I babysat a bath, we were on our way downstairs to get dressed by the TV.  Being naked, he was inspecting/discovering his nipples. 
     "What's that?" I asked.
     "Belly-button."
     "How many belly-buttons do you have?"
     "1-2-3, I have 3 belly-buttons!" -Chris

On Fishing Out West.....
     We were vacationing in the Colorado Rockies. My 4 year old son, Daniel, and I were hiking around a lake when we saw a man fly fishing.  This guy was whipping his fishing line back and forth in the air, almost spinning it in a circle.  "Ohhh loook," Daniel said. "He's cowboy rope fishing!"  -Dorothy

On Left and Right.....^NEW!
     My daughter Rachel was only three and constantly heard us telling her brothers, "No that's the wrong foot," when they put their shoes on the wrong foot.
     Rachel pointed to her right foot and said, "This is my right foot." Then she pointed to her left foot and said, "This is my wrong foot."  -Debra Carmona

On Marriage.....^NEW!
     Five year old Joseph was thinking one day about marriage. He told me,"Mom, when I grow up I'm going to marry you." I explained that he can't marry me, I'm already married to Daddy and explained he'll have to marry someone else. Then he responded, "But then I wouldn't be in this family anymore." I laughed and told him that he would have to start his own family, but that I was very glad he liked our family. -Debra Carmona

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